u/PackerSquirrelette

Long time lurker. First time poster here. I'm hoping to get some insight and maybe some advice about my current situation.

I worked with my previous therapist for 2 1/2 years until late last year when she became ill and needed to take time off for work. What started out as a few months away has now turned into indefinite leave. I miss her so much. Since she left, she's been in touch a few times -- short emails to let me know about her extended leave, kind words of encouragement, and also encouraging me to work with another therapist while she's off work.

It's taken me a little while to find a new therapist. I recently had two sessions with a therapist who has a background as a social worker working with patients who have chronic illnesses. As I have three chronic illnesses, I thought maybe they would be a good fit. I've mostly worked with female therapists, but this one is male. I'm trying to keep an open mind.

I also have C-PTSD, medical trauma, and anxiety. I want to give it a little more time, but there are some things that bother me about how the sessions I've had with this therapist have gone:

- He spends a lot of time talking about himself.

- He brags about being the "lead therapist" in his group

.- He hasn't asked me about my goals for therapy.

- We've talked about a current difficult situation I have with one of my doctors. He gave me his take, but didn't seem to pick.up on the nuances of what I expressed. I can't help but think my previous therapist would have validated my feelings.

- Towards the end of the last session, I asked if we could work on a specific topic I struggle with. He didn't respond. I know he was already thinking about his next session, because he mentioned it a couple of times. A few minutes later when we were wrapping up, he said "I know what I'm going to do with you." That gave me pause.

- We talked about homework during our first session. He actually brought it up. Yet when I asked about it during the second session, he said it was too soon and that we were still in the process of building a rapport. Okaay...

My intuition is telling me that most likely this person isn't the right fit for me. At the same time, I realize it's still early. I'm wondering how much longer I should give him. I don't have a good feeling about him talking so much, not asking me questions, and not communicating his understanding of what I've said. I'm going through an especially difficult time with my health and like I said earlier, with one of my doctors. So I was expecting support from this therapist. I don't feel it or much warmth from him.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. TIA.