How do I get my sister to leave her boyfriend?
I (20F) have a massive problem with my sisters (18F) boyfriend (20M). I want my sister to leave him and don’t know how to go about it beyond just sit down conversations.
So my sister met her boyfriend online and they have been dating for about a year and a few months. They have had an explosive relationship from the very beginning - him even showing red flags on their first date leaving her waiting alone at night for 30 minutes. Nevertheless, she perused him.
After a couple months it became clear to me he has to interest, love or respect for her. He acts like a bum to be plain and simple. Works a decent salary full time job and has only taken her out 2-3 times over the course of their relationship. I’m not even mentioning this in terms of money or taking her to fancy restaurants - the guy won’t even take her for a coffee. He won’t do basic things to show he cares I.e. ask if she wants something from the shop, tie her lace, drive her somewhere she needs to be. He sits there completely blank scrolling on his phone 95% of the time. She has put so much more effort in for him; showering him in expensive and meaningful gifts on his birthday, valentines, Christmas and never anything in return. I mean the guy showed up empty handed on her birthday when our whole family was there - not even a card.
There has been multiple instances of him blowing up in front of my family screaming at her, taking off out the house, being full blown toxic turning off his location, blocking her, posting himself - practically anything to make her overthink. I’m honestly scared one day he’ll become physical because he seems like the type and my sister has told me that once before he grabbed and shook her during an argument. Also just to mention his mother is one of those that are obsessed with their sons and she had the audacity to ban my sister from coming to theirs because she’s not “good enough for him” so all the time they spend together is at our place. Every weekend he is here Friday-Sunday
We recently went on a weekend trip away as a family and she insisted on him coming. The entire time all they did was argue and not just bickering but full blown yelling and tears and made the entire thing so uncomfortable and stressful for us. These arguments mainly revolved around him ignoring her, refusing to do anything for her. It got to the point that me and my dad snapped at them on two separate occasions - my dad called him a winey miserable little bitch, I told him to man up and we both begged them to break up already since it’s clearly not working and they’re making everyone miserable. This is not the first time either of us have tried intercepting either. He was overall the deadest vibe, couldn’t crack a smile the entire time and allowed my father to pay for everything without offering to pay a single bill despite being fully within means of doing so.
The problem here is that he’s made her cry countless times to the point she’s shaking and pleading, basically loosing her mind but she refuses to leave him. It breaks my heart and I’ve cried for her many times. I ask her why are you staying with someone that makes you feel this way and she responds that she loves him, I say what is there to love and she can’t even come up with an answer, she says she just does. I can’t wrap my head around it I cannot understand why you would allow yourself to be in this miserable relationship, especially since her previous relationship was so happy and healthy and the boy loved her to bits and treated her so well. Me and my mother have spent countless of hours speaking with her about it, trying to encourage her to leave him and she won’t.
I feel like I’m going to get a lot of comments saying just let time do its thing she’ll realise and leave soon enough but my point is I cannot stand the sight of him any more. The second he walks into my house I’m infuriated. I just want him gone out of our lives so he can stop sucking the soul out of my sister and the rest of us. My biggest worry is she ends up pregnant with him and we’re stuck with him for life. How do I go about this Reddit?