u/Ornery-Goal-679

On the plus side, I got more calm over time and I've been judging way way less

I gotta admit the truth: there's really just a few more reasons why I decided to become a traditionalist Catholic just a few years ago

I didn't want to be seen as a "liberal degenerate" anymore and I didn't want to attract women like that anymore either. I really thought that it was the antidote of what I was going through at the time: this heartbreak with a girl that I fell hard for and even had sex with her

so, it doesn't really help to find out that what's been described as "heaven on earth" when you go in, HOLY FUCKING SHIT: its gotten even more neurotic and makes me want to kill myself, which I refuse to; my own life has value and I rather not surround myself with people who want to ruin that on purpose while they swear that they're going straight to heaven on business class just because they went to the most traditionalist Catholic mass they can ever find.

It sure doesn't help when you're told "oh, you're not a virgin? Don't date a virgin". Aright bet, I'll just stay out of your way then; just go for men who haven't got laid at all before marriage

I happen to have quite the liberal view on sex by the way. Does that make me a degenerate? Maybe lol at least I rather own up to it nowadays, instead of playing pretend and trying to fit in to some group that don't even like men like me in the end

There's even one other thing that I find hilarious: over the course of the past year, I've had some Catholics out there, especially MEN, who try super hard to reel me back in while acting like they're "sad" for me, even after I said nicely "I decline but thank you"

"ohhh i'll pray for you!! The church needs you! I hope you return to us! You're a baptized Catholic; you'll always be a Catholic"

That's what infuriates me even more. After I clearly said no, they somehow ignore that "no" like a slimy Primerica salesman and they try that hard to coerce you to "come back to the family" or worse: somehow turning that "no" into a "yes"...the way I see it: if your crush rejects you by saying "no", IT MEANS FUCKING NO.

Men like me just want to win: I suppose its a start to actively defend such a boundary of mine from dolts like that.

I tried that super bAsEd and super trad catholic life for 4 years...that's not for me at all. I'm not that kind of a cat at all and frankly, I'm still alive and well without anything remotely Catholic in my life. That's okay if you ask me; maybe I'm crazy for stating such a things but believe me, I've been told even crazier, darker, and especially even more fucked.

What I've stated is not even remotely close. I just got indifferent in a way

Now I still believe that God exists, all right:nowadays I just think the Catholic Church is not what its made out to be unless you hate yourself lmao

That's why I haven't been back to church since last February. It's my decision, my boundary; its like Mordor: don't cross the motherfucker, please.

For those who ultimately respect my decision, I can get with that. If not, fuck right off.