Became the loneliest i’ve ever been in just 2 months!
I’ll try to keep this story short and sweet. Back in early December, i fucked up and got a dui. It made my boyfriend of 9 months break up with me. So i had my two friends, “betty” and “ashley” (fake names). I was making some bad decisions prior to that, and betty never thought anything of it and i told her everything. The night of my dui, she decided to tell my mom everything bad ive ever done plus more. Acting like she had no idea about any of it (yes the fuck she did). My dui is the reason why betty and ashley became friends again since my mom picked both of them up to come get me from jail that night. They weren’t friends for a year over something petty. However, i stayed close with both of them. With them using me as the “middle man” pretty much when that was not ideal at all. From that point on, betty was making jokes about how much of an “alcoholic” and “ drug addict” i was, knowing damn well that was the lowest point of my life and i was extremely ashamed of what i did. I had to end up telling her it wasnt funny and to chill out. She used it as a joke outlet to make me look bad. Her and ashley started hanging out way more and leaving me out. Fast forward, ashley got a boyfriend. Ever since, she completely stopped talking to me. She went from offering rides for me from my work everyday without me asking to taking 3 business days to answer even the shortest text from me. She has always been like this whenever she’s in a relationship so i shouldve known better. I believe the reason she offered me rides was because she knew i’d buy her alcohol if she asked. (Fyi, i had about 4 months until court after my dui so i was still able to drink. I had a drinking problem. But now i am on probation and taking classes. I feel better than ever after kicking alcohol). But yeah ever since i got on probation and wasnt able to do that shit anymore, she wont even give me the time of day.
Betty on the other hand, the one who liked to poke fun at my alcohol issues, decided one day a few weeks ago to tell me i was a bad friend for lying to her in the past when she’d ask me if i was drunk and i’d say no, which was a few times and was when i was deep in my addiction. She didn’t want to say all of that before though. It came out of nowhere so she threw all of that on me in the drop of a hat. She was the type to tell my mom everything after the arrest, and the arrest made me fall deeper into the alcoholism. So yeah i was a bit hesistant to tell her anything regarding that subject. I told her i was sober now and even if i wanted to drink, i wouldnt be able to. I told her the truth and said i was afraid she would go and tell my family like she always was. And yeah, thats when she was saying i was a bad friend and shit and said condescending things like “i hope you find yourself again.” “Take care of yourself.” With the period and everything to make it more dramatic😂 her and ashley talk shit about eachother all the time, so i blew up and said okay! Yes please tell me how bad of a friend i am, but your closest friend is actually your enemy behind closed doors but we don’t need to talk about that right now. Have fun finding out about it in the future like you once did before. If anything i am better off without you guys and your gossip because lord knows what has been said about me behind my back.
Sorry i know i am rambling so much. But i don’t really have anybody to talk about this with with so it is all spilling out. It doesn’t help having a (now ex) boyfriend and (now ex) best friend making you feel like complete shit over a huge mistake at a low point in life with your (other ex) best friend just completely ignoring your existence and only wants to be around you when it is convenient or beneficial for her. I was kicked and kicked and spit on while i was down and now i have nobody. Even my family life is toxic as fuck and i have nothing to do about it because i spent all my savings on an attorney and court fees so i am living with my parents who are extremely toxic and draining to live with but i have no other choice. It all happened so quick and i am just hopeless at this point. I feel as if i have nobody.
I am F23