u/Ordinary_Broccoli458

so fast forward last week I went to my ex’s house cause she didn’t answer my text mesages . I saw her leaving and I ended up following her and messaged her 44 times calling her all types of nasty stuff. I know I acted crazy I was drinking and kind of stalked her . I messed up badly I do miss her a lot and hope she forgives me so we can be back together but I doubt she will. what do I do ? I’m completely loosing it and I feel so lonely without her we had a deep connection .i know my only choice is to move on since she has a restraining order on me and her family hates me now.