Just tore my room up looking for my phone
Flipping appliances and throwing my bags and chairs across the room kicking doors and everything else I see. Im usually clumsy and it does make me angry but for the past few days ive been losing stuff and losing my temper over it more often than usual. Its exhausting being so emotionally charged all the time and mortifying when someone sees me like this. Its so humiliating when someone sees you as just some man child who cant control his anger but i really cannot for the life of me control this and i feel like im just better off dead for the safety and peace of mind of everyone around me and for myself who’d rather not feel anything at all if it means i wont lose control as easily. Seriously i cant reconcile the idea of me being a functional human but also someone with such a humiliating and dehumanizing trait that comes out so easily for petty and useless reasons