u/Optimal-Finding-6774

I had taken up masters after my BDS in a private college and during admission I had taken into consideration only my annual fee and it felt manageable.

But the add on expenses of equipment, hostel, conferences and extra courses are way more than anticipated.

It is causing a lot of financial stress and i have already taken a loan of over 10lakhs to cover my fees.

I love what I am doing, the college is good but I can't help but think that it was a mistake taking up masters when I don't have a sound financial background to help me.

It doesn't feel worth it atp.

Is this the same with you and has it been worth it or not after passing out?

My_qualifications are BDS and now doing masters in prosthodontics.

As a child, a teenager and even up to my mid-twenties I would be consumed by guilt of NOT saying something when I should have, not drawing boundaries, not telling people that what they did was not ok.

I just sucked it in, cried myself to sleep and woke up as if nothing happened.

But what happened was I kept getting side lined, invisible and never prioritised. I also had developed eczema, which I found out later could be due to suppressed feelings.

Recently, like a year now, I have had this sort of enlightenment lol. Fuck it.

I am going to be myself, without an apology, or without compromise for others. Also to never do something for someone that they would not do for me.

I have started saying no, and when I don't like something, I make them know I don't like it.

This has been great for the most part but I'm still getting used to it.

Earlier I used to take everything super personally, would overthink a lot and that was really disturbing my mental health, especially since I am in the medical field.

Being rude to someone, no matter how much they deserved it, makes me uncomfortable and I don't like to feel that way. But sometimes there is no other way, you have tried everything else and the opposite person doesn't understand.

Now I end up overthinking about how that person must be feeling and what I could have done differently. I am trying to give it less thought, but it does happen.

Does this get better with time? How do I stop myself from feeling guilty?