But if I'm attracted to women, why would I be a woman?
This one I've struggled with a long time.
If, as a man, I'm attracted to women, why have I always known I am a woman and why would I transition?
It's very confusing and a really good argument to avoid the fact, that indeed, I am one.
It's taken a lot of work and understanding that it's never been about sex or attraction.
It's about becoming the woman I was always meant to be.
To stand up and say this is me with (excuse the language) no fucks given.
It may even hinder a future with potential women, but it's never been about that.
When you've spent most of your life depressed, the real question is, what is it about your circumstances that doesn't match your internal beliefs?
This is incongruence of your outside world and internal world rubbing against each other.
This is the work on said depression.
Only by marrying theses two together can you truly live a congruent life.
And who knows, maybe Ella will have a change of heart and fall in love with a boy.
That's up to her.
But until then it's about growth and self actualisation.
Does anyone else have this experience of confusion?
Ella x