Jealous
Im not sure if this is the right word for it but i am feeling really jealous of my husband who is deployed right now.
He got short notice deployment last month and i was devastated at first especially with the current global landscape. Fortunately he got deployed in Europe so its non hostile/combat.
He and his team are now fully settled in. And have their schedule/shifts in place. They would get 2-3 days off and they would usually go out and explore Europe with how close the countries are in there with their bullet trains.
I am happy they are having a good time which is very well deserved. But also cant help but feel a little jealous.
They are not in a barracks and is staying in the hotel on base. They get to travel and sleep in and be comfortable on their days off.
Meanwhile, i am taking care of the kids, still working full time and left to manage everything at home.
We would talk/facetime and he would be in bed comfortable while I make dinner, or have a clingy child climbing all over me. I have to do bedtime, while he walks leisurely and goes to the gym.
Im feeling horrible for feeling this way. I want to be supportive and mature but I cant help but just feel a tad bit jealous of the life he is living right now.
I love our kids and love taking care of them, i love my husband and glad he is safe. Im just having a little pity party for myself apparently and I cant help it. I just needed to vent.