Heard something unsettling at a wedding. Is it normal?
So yesterday, for the first time ever... I stayed till the pheras at a friend's wedding.
It was a sundowner, everything was beautiful, soft lights, happy faces...
and I remember thinking let me actually listen this time.
Like really understand what's being promised here.
And within a few minutes... something inside me just broke.
The pandit started saying the vachans for the bride and I swear, with every line, I felt more and more uncomfortable.
He said
if you want to travel anywhere, you cannot go without vour in-laws' nermissionI paused. Like... did I hear that right?
And then came the one that actually made my chest tighten
he said,
you can visit your parents whenever you want... but if there's ever a conflict between your parents and your in-laws,
then you cannot go meet your own parents without their approval.
And I just I couldn't process it.
In that moment, surrounded by so many people, cameras, rituals..the bride just stood there and nodded.
Like she's supposed to agree. Like this is normal.Like this is what marriage sounds like.
And I kept thinking how are we still saying things like this out loud... in 2026... and no one even questions it?
Is this what the "saat vachan" actually are? Or are we just repeating things that were never meant to be rules in the first place?
Because this didn't sound like love to me. It sounded like control packaged very softly as tradition.
And I don't know... maybe I'm overthinking it.
But I know one thing for sure
if I ever stand there one day, mv vows will not take awav mv freedom to exist as adaughter,
as an individual,
as a person.
Because marriage should add to your life... not quietly take pieces of it away.
What do you think?