u/Old_Flight9033

Hi there!

I am planning my first solo trip to Acadia National Park this June. I plan on driving up and spending five days. This is sort of an impromptu visit. I want to enjoy a more relaxed vacation, reading, some photography, writing and doing a few light hikes. I’m planning on staying in Southwest Harbor and just commuting into town. I’ll probably be cooking at my cabin to save on food cost but I will definitely have dinner in town once or twice too.
Any suggestions on where/what to visit, what to steer clear of, good things to pack etc. I’m not a big drinker or extreme hiker haha. I’m just looking for some chill things to do.

Thank you!

 I am 23f and have feel that I have been dealing with some narcissistic behavior within my extended family. my next-door neighbors are my paternal grandmother and my father’s brother and his family. We’ve all lived right next to each other for the last 30 years. Because of this, I became very close with my first cousins, they were like my brothers and sister. I was especially close with my only female cousin, Lara. 

Anyway, last summer was asked to be a brides maid in Lara’s older brother, Landon’s wedding. Landon’s fiancé Kelly, was my close friend in highschool. So all of us were very close. Long story short, wedding drama ensued. Kelly had extremely unreasonable expectations of the bridal party and I was not able to attend the bachelorette trip because I could not find a church in the area. Lara agreed that she would not go either because we both attend the same church. The rest of the bridal party had promised to try to work around my schedule and others that could not attend and get back to us. Which I never expected them to do, they just offered. Lara and I had privately discussed how intense and uncomfortable the whole planning portion had been and hoped it would resolve. I heard nothing for three weeks and then saw Lara, Kelly and a few other bridesmaids in an entirely different and much closer city than w was initially planned for Kelly’s bachelorette. Until then I’d assumed they were either going to the original city or not at all since I hadn’t heard anything. I was pretty hurt by the fact that Lara didn’t even reach out to tell me she was going. I blocked the girls that went on instagram just so I didn’t have to see the pictures, I wasn’t trying to be vindictive or mean, I was just hurt. Maybe not the best choice in hindsight and I own that completely. 

So the wedding happened, and a few weeks after, I get contacted by Lara, who has learned I blocked her. I’d planned on talking to her about all of this, she just beat me to it, which is fine. She becomes very angry about the blocking specifically, and I suggest we sit down and talk it out. When we sit down, I acknowledged and apologized for any hurt I caused her by blocking her. It wasn’t my intention but I can totally see how that would be hurtful. I also said that I understood why she need to go on the trip. Her relationship with Kelly was more pressing, understandably, than ours was in that moment. I just wished she’d have told me or at least acknowledge that what she did hurt me, even if she was in a bad situation. She said I’m sorry you feel that way, but I have the right do what I want. She denied any wrong doing on her or Kelly’s part. She also blamed me for almost ruining Kelly’s wedding.  Literally everything was my fault. So I tried to repair that as much as possible but I feel like she couldn’t see where I was coming from. I left a conversation basically saying that saying it was all my fault. 

In the time since this conversation, my grandmother has been acting as mediator, asking my father what happened and seemingly being sympathetic toward me. She seemed to understand that the way Kelly acted over everything was unreasonable and that Lara shouldn’t have treated me the way she did. 

In September, Lara got engaged. In November, I found out she got married through photos on facebook and extended family asking us why we weren’t at the ceremony. In the photos I saw my grandmother in the background. She had been in attendance and never told me or anyone in my family that there even was a wedding. I was deeply hurt about this. I knew that Lara and I weren’t on great terms and I didn’t  expect to be invited, but I figured my grandmother would have the empathy to tell me she was going to her wedding. 

A few months after that Lara reached out to have dinner with the condition that we do not rehash anything whatsoever about the weddings, drama, etc. I went in good faith, just to see where she stood and she acted like nothing had happened between us at all hasn’t reached out since. 

Now, Lara and my grandmother continue to approach me like nothing ever happened. My grandmother continues to play mediator between my father and Lara’s father, or asks others why I am upset, but has never addressed me directly. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like I’m living in this Truman Show reality. I feel like saying something calmly to my grandmother and creating a firm boundary of little to no contact might make things worse but pretending everything is fine doesn’t feel right either. But if I’m in a relationship with someone who doesn’t acknowledge or act like anything is wrong, I don’t know if I want to continue that relationship with them at the moment. I’m not sure what to do but this seems to be a pattern within my family. Is this unreasonable for me to feel/do? 

Thanks! 

Hi there,

I’m a 23f who has been dealing with some narc behavior within my extended family. my next-door neighbors are my paternal grandmother and my father’s brother and his family. We’ve all lived right next to each other for the last 30 years. Because of this, I became very close with my first cousins, they were like my brothers and sister. I was especially close with my only female cousin, Lara.

Anyway, last summer was asked to be a brides maid in Lara’s older brother, Landon’s wedding. Landon’s fiancé Kelly, was my close friend in highschool. So all of us were very close. Long story short, wedding drama ensued. Kelly had extremely unreasonable expectations of the bridal party and I was not able to attend the bachelorette trip because I could not find a church in the area. Lara agreed that she would not go either because we both attend the same church. The rest of the bridal party had promised to try to work around my schedule and others that could not attend and get back to us. Which I never expected them to do, they just offered. Lara and I had privately discussed how intense and uncomfortable the whole planning portion had been and hoped it been resolve. I heard nothing for three weeks and then saw Lara, Kelly and a few other bridesmaids in an entirely different city then what was initially planned. Until then I’d assumed they were either going to the original city or not at all. I was pretty hurt by the fact that Lara didn’t even reach out to tell me she was going. I blocked the girls that went on instagram just so I didn’t have to see the pictures, I wasn’t trying to be vindictive or mean, I was just hurt. Maybe not the best choice in hindsight and I own that completely.

So the wedding happened, and a few weeks after, I get contacted by Lara, who has learned I blocked her. She becomes very angry, and I suggest we sit down and talk it out. When we sit down, I acknowledged and apologized for any hurt I caused her by blocking her. It wasn’t my intention but I can totally see how that would be hurtful. I also said that I understood why she need to go on the trip. Her relationship with Kelly was more pressing, understandably, than ours was. I just wished she’d have told me or at least acknowledge that what she did hurt me, even if she was in a bad situation. She said I’m sorry you feel that way, but I have the right do what I want. She also blamed me for almost ruining Kelly’s wedding. So I tried to repair that as much as possible but I feel like she couldn’t see where I was coming from.