Day 6
Woke up to the news that I suddenly had lost 2 hundred thousand dollars. It made me so sick. I’m still emotional anyways. It was really hard to get out of bed. My wife managed to get me out of bed & go on a walk. It was a direct result of poor impulsive decision making when I was getting high also. Oh & I wanted to numb it but obviously didn’t. I think no matter what that would devastate & make me feel terrible but it’s even worst in my current mental state. That being said. I have to dig myself out of this hole I feel like I’m in. Mentally, chemically & financially. I can do hard things & must. But all I want to do right now is escape & hide. I feel like a man child 🤣 Fuck life can be a doozy & it sucks a whole lot worst when your trying to get over chemical dependencies.
Keep going friends! No matter what is happening. It’s all a matter of perspective but I get caught in negativity loops but I know I can break free of them if I’m sober