I hate my brother so much
TLDR: I hate my controlling, verbally abusive and physically abusive brother na may sariling mundo at napakaselfish.
I have an older brother who is very verbally abusive and may tendency to be physically abusive. In fact he is physically abusive before - nambabato ng appliances and utensils. Kapag inutusan ka at hindi mo nasunod nang tama matic verbal abuse agad, mumurahin ka agad at sasabihan ng kung ano ano.
Often times siya yung type magagalit dahil walang ulam or hindi niya gusto yung ulam. Mind you ayaw niyan sa gulay at isda. Dami niya rin nakaaway, tita ko, bagong asawa ng papa ko, pinsan ko, lola ko. Nakakaawa na nga minsan kasi parang lahat kaaway niya to the point na mukha na siyang kawawa.
Napaka-toxic na tao. He will asked for a favor to you and kapag may hindi siya nagustuhan sisihin ka niya na para bang buong buhay mo wala ka nang ginawang tama. He will also sometimes be kind and buy you something pero ang ending may kapalit naman yung pagbigay niya, worst magagalit pa pag di mo nagawa.
Super controlling. May time na bumili yan ng sapatos and nung ayaw niya sakin niya binigay pero ang ending binayaran ko rin naman kasi binawas niya sa ambag niya sa bahay. Ang ending napabili pa ko ng sapatos na wala naman sa plano ko.
Siya pa nagmamando ng career ko, itake ko daw ito, itake ko yan tapos sasabihin wala kang patutunguhan kasi di ko ginagawa yung gusto niya.
May time pa na ginusto niya magupgrade ng lifestyle so lumipat kami. Malaki naman sahod niya so okay, akala ko naman mag man-up. Ang ending ako pa yung mas marami inaabono. Pati na barya barya sakin pa kinukuha.
I try so much to understand him pero it is super draining. Wala pang sense of gratitude. Dalawang beses na niya tinake for granted yung tulong ko, maybe not only 2 pero ito yung major 2:
I accompanied him sa Dentist since he will have is wisdom tooth removed. Malayo kasi yung clinic, and we are from South. We need to take Grab from clinic to house. Ako pinagbayad niya ng Grab for 1000 pesos, sabi niya ibabalik niya pero never naman niya binalik. Ilang beses ko na inulit yun sa kanya.
He recently got involved sa accident, so I went kung nasan siya in the middle of midnight past 12 am when he called since I thought it was emergency. Pinasulat niya ako ng “kasunduan” and sa first version hindi ko nasulat yung full name niya at nasabihan agad akong “HINDI KA BA NAG-IISIP?” so I had to redo it. Admittedly, minamadali ko na magsulat since it’s a 1 long bond pager and kelangan ko pa pagkasyahin at 3:30 am at may pasok pa ako kinabukasan.
Ang ending kinabukasan kung anu-ano pinagsasabi at hindi ko raw inayos yung pinasulat niya at sino namang gaganahan na ikaw na nga tumulong nasabihan ka pang hindi nagiisip?
I so much want to not be involved with him anymore, kaya lang we have shared responsibilities sa bahay. I hope someday I can do it on my own para hindi ko na siya kasama sa isang bahay. For my peace of mind as well.