Kind of forced to come out by my therapist?
Extreme yap because I don't have anyone to listen.
So I have a hard time sharing personal things about me to my therapist. As a result, she pushes me a lot and really won't give up until I answer.
One day she asked about what I talk to my friends about, which led to asking about crushes. She asked if I had celebrity crushes and the sort, then she brought up the sexuality topic. I was being very avoidant and obviously not wanting to answer, which I felt was okay to excuse on such a sensitive topic.
My therapist is a straight woman who I think is in her 40s. I know she is an ally, I just don't feel I should have to come out, and be open with her because of that. Straight ally's still have ignorance sometimes.
She tried to get me to answer by mentioning this LGBTQ+ group, and saying "A lot of people are gay now" or something along the lines of that to which she quickly added, "Wow, I sound old."
This is kind of what I mean by ignorance, I haven't come out to my parents or her because she's older and I don't want them to think I'm only gay because of the 'trend' or something.
Anyway as she kept talking, she sort of backed me i to a corner with no way out where if I didn't just say I was straight, then the answer was obvious, and I started crying which definitely gave it away lmfao...
Fast forward to our next session, it was on the phone partly because I was too uncomfortable to come in. She brought up the sexuality topic again, and I started crying again lollll...
I felt a little braver over the phone, and just said, "I didn't choose to share that with you." I can't really remember what she said because I was so nervous, but her reply was like a question to confirm what I said that sounded like I did confirm my sexuality with her, which I never did.
So it kind of ended with her asking if I would like her to continue talking about it in the future and asking if it was something she could share with my parents, and I said no, and that was that I guess.
I'm not sure if I want to see her anymore, but I've been through so many therapists that I really don't want to start again. I do think this is an important thing for me to talk about, but I do not want to talk about it with a straight woman. Thank you for listening. <3