Am I being childish?
I’m 18 (literally just turned 18 like a week ago) and I have a 13 year old little sister. My parents have been fighting for a long time, but today it just… got worse. My mother packed some of her stuff (enough for about 8 days I think) and just left. I don’t even know where she went. Then my father also left and just said he’s going out. So now I’m home alone with my little sister and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. They’ve had problems for years. My father always says he’s open-minded but then also expects my mother to do everything at home because “she’s the mother”. They both get mad really fast and they never admit they did anything wrong. Since the start of this year they basically stopped talking after a fight and just avoided each other. We still did stuff like eating together or even my birthday, but you could always feel the tension. I’m really scared right now. My mother is kinda dependent on my father, he owns our house and also the house my grandparents live in, and I just don’t know what’s going to happen.
And I feel really bad for even thinking this but part of me just wants them to stay together… they’ve been married 20 years. I don’t know if that makes me selfish or childish but I just don’t want it to change. Also I’ve always been really dependent on them, especially my mother. I’m not used to making decisions on my own and now suddenly they’re both gone what do I do?? My sister doesn’t fully get what’s happening and I feel like I’m supposed to handle this but I don’t feel capable at all.
I feel really helpless right now. What do I do? am I selfish for wanting things to just stay the same?