u/OkSkin59

I’ve debated posting this for a while, but I know there are probably other people sitting on the fence about going to mental health because they’re worried about their career, clearance, reputation, etc.

I’m still active duty, and after years of keeping things bottled up, I finally went and got evaluated. A lot of what I was dealing with came from some experiences during my military career involving death, high stress operational situations, and events that stuck with me a lot longer than I ever admitted to myself.

For years I just convinced myself I was fine and kept moving. Meanwhile I was dealing with nightmares, hypervigilance in public, emotional numbness, constantly being on alert, being extremely jumpy/startled, poor sleep, and just generally never being able to fully relax.

I was honest during the evaluation. I even disclosed past suicidal ideation from years ago that I had literally never told another person about. That was honestly one of the hardest parts.

End result?

I got connected with a therapist, got evaluated for PTSD, started treatment, and got put on medication that has already started helping with some of the symptoms. Most importantly, I finally feel like I’m actually addressing things instead of just suppressing them and pretending I’m good.

Career-wise: no loss of clearance, no negative impact to my job, no commander involvement, no “career ending” outcome, and still deployable and still doing my job

Now, I want to be realistic and not sell people a fantasy either. There ARE situations where mental health conditions can affect your career depending on severity, reliability, safety concerns, inability to perform duties, etc. But I think a lot of us build it up in our heads like simply walking into mental health automatically destroys your career, and that just wasn’t my experience at all.

Honestly, I regret waiting so long.

If you’re struggling, at least go talk to someone. Keeping everything buried for years is not a flex, and eventually it catches up to you one way or another.

I’ve debated posting this for a while, but I know there are probably other people sitting on the fence about going to mental health because they’re worried about their career, clearance, reputation, etc.

I’m still active duty, and after years of keeping things bottled up, I finally went and got evaluated. A lot of what I was dealing with came from some experiences during my military career involving death, high stress operational situations, and events that stuck with me a lot longer than I ever admitted to myself.

For years I just convinced myself I was fine and kept moving. Meanwhile I was dealing with nightmares, hypervigilance in public, emotional numbness, constantly being on alert, being extremely jumpy/startled, poor sleep, and just generally never being able to fully relax.

I was honest during the evaluation. I even disclosed past suicidal ideation from years ago that I had literally never told another person about. That was honestly one of the hardest parts.

End result?

I got connected with a therapist, got evaluated for PTSD, started treatment, and got put on medication that has already started helping with some of the symptoms. Most importantly, I finally feel like I’m actually addressing things instead of just suppressing them and pretending I’m good.

Career-wise: no loss of clearance, no negative impact to my job, no commander involvement, no “career ending” outcome, and still deployable and still doing my job

Now, I want to be realistic and not sell people a fantasy either. There ARE situations where mental health conditions can affect your career depending on severity, reliability, safety concerns, inability to perform duties, etc. But I think a lot of us build it up in our heads like simply walking into mental health automatically destroys your career, and that just wasn’t my experience at all.

Honestly, I regret waiting so long.

If you’re struggling, at least go talk to someone. Keeping everything buried for years is not a flex, and eventually it catches up to you one way or another.