u/Ok-Prize576

(keeping it gender neutral for unbiased opinion)

The story starts with my friends setting me up with this person. We started talking for hours on call and found a lot of similarities. I was dating someone else at That time not serious just on again off again kind of thing. So once we were in the same city we went out had a fun time this was not a date just 2 friends hanging out. Then we come back to my place as it was nearby just for a smoke up sesh and then dropping them back. After everything this person, when we are about to leave, asks if i was ever planning to kiss. I didn't think much just said right and we made out for another 10 20 mins and then dropped them back. This all fun and makeout kept going one whenever we were in the same city. And the calls lasted for hours. Whenever we talked about marriage this person always said that they wanted someone like me who has the same interests as them. Nothing was explicitly said as we hadn't had the serious talk. And somewhere their family believed in arranged marriages and for us to get married meant going against them (Kind of the same case as me and since i was ready to go against my family i kind of assumed they would also be, here i was wrong). This kept going for almost a year.

Note: we hadn't had sex yet, this person said that sex was after commitment or love. Which i accepted that is ur belief system. We did everything but sex making out, oral etc.

Now recently i confessed that i love them and now this person was dumbfounded on what to say so i said take your time and respond whenever you want. After 2 day this person comes back and says no they can't commit, if this would have been 2 years ago something could have happened but not now.

I was heartbroken but i found a way to be ok with it but still this person wanted to continue what was going on which i of course said no to. Now when i was talking to the friends who set us up in the first place and found out that we didn't have sex because this person was never attracted to me in the first place. (My friend who is also a psychologist with over 5 years of experience) This friend also told me that, there was a crush and if this person would have said yes to them everything including sex would have happened on day one as my friend had seen this person going crazy over this crush. This made me furious because this person just used me. If you weren't attracted to me then why did you continue this facade for a year.

Any redditor who made it to the end please help me on what can i do. If you don't want to comment my dms are open.

I am considering everything from serious guilt trip to faking my own death

(keeping it gender neutral for unbiased opinion)

The story starts with my friends setting me up with this person. We started talking for hours on call and found a lot of similarities. I was dating someone else at That time not serious just on again off again kind of thing. So once we were in the same city we went out had a fun time this was not a date just 2 friends hanging out. Then we come back to my place as it was nearby just for a smoke up sesh and then dropping them back. After everything this person, when we are about to leave, asks if i was ever planning to kiss. I didn't think much just said right and we made out for another 10 20 mins and then dropped them back. This all fun and makeout kept going one whenever we were in the same city. And the calls lasted for hours. Whenever we talked about marriage this person always said that they wanted someone like me who has the same interests as them. Nothing was explicitly said as we hadn't had the serious talk. And somewhere their family believed in arranged marriages and for us to get married meant going against them (Kind of the same case as me and since i was ready to go against my family i kind of assumed they would also be, here i was wrong). This kept going for almost a year.

Note: we hadn't had sex yet, this person said that sex was after commitment or love. Which i accepted that is ur belief system. We did everything but sex making out, oral etc.

Now recently i confessed that i love them and now this person was dumbfounded on what to say so i said take your time and respond whenever you want. After 2 day this person comes back and says no they can't commit, if this would have been 2 years ago something could have happened but not now.

I was heartbroken but i found a way to be ok with it but still this person wanted to continue what was going on which i of course said no to. Now when i was talking to the friends who set us up in the first place and found out that we didn't have sex because this person was never attracted to me in the first place. (My friend who is also a psychologist with over 5 years of experience) This friend also told me that, there was a crush and if this person would have said yes to them everything including sex would have happened on day one as my friend had seen this person going crazy over this crush. This made me furious because this person just used me. If you weren't attracted to me then why did you continue this facade for a year.

Any redditor who made it to the end please help me on what can i do. If you don't want to comment my dms are open.

I am considering everything from serious guilt trip to faking my own death