u/Ok-Hour-5642

I live in an African household and my parents have mildly sexist views of what a man and woman should be. We were actually having a good family night until the conversation shifted to the future and I mentioned that if I were to have children I would prefer to have girls. My mum immediately went on the defensive and it was obvious she secretly wanted me to say I would rather have boys. She’s so male centered its crazy. She then spent the whole time trying to force me to retract my statement. When I didn’t she started spouting these pickme talking points saying feminism is just women wanting to be higher than men. I say it’s not, she doubles down and says it is. I get pissed.

She started getting aggressive claiming that domestic abuse is 50/50 that women beat up men just as much as men beat up women and that social media is corrupting my mind. I tried to end the conversation by agreeing to disagree MULTIPLE times but she would not let it go. She kept pushing and eventually she just started yelling. When my dad got involved they were both screaming at me. He even started calling me the f slur (i’m straight) claiming I was following f words online and some more dumb shit.

And to be honest, after they kept pushing and calling me names I eventually snapped and started yelling back. It only made it worse. I had to storm upstairs to get away from them because of a massive stress headache. My dad had the nerve to call me a white girl for storming off like in an African household I am just supposed to stand there and take the abuse to be respectful. Insanity.

To make matters worse I heard him ranting downstairs saying that I called him an abuser and that I claimed he hits women which is NOT what I said at all. I literally just said that domestic abuse is most likely to be committed by a male. My dad is usually so chill he never gets angry like this so it is bizarre to hear him twisting my words like that.

Meanwhile I am stuck up here in my room and I can hear my mum downstairs loudly talking to my older and younger brothers calling me misbehaved, mean and horrible. She is basically using me as a bad example for them. She is screaming that she does not want to see my face in her house again telling me to go f*** myself and saying she does not give a shit about me. This is literally quoted.

To top it all off she is now trying to manipulate my dad into refusing to drive me to the train station tomorrow morning. (I’m meant to leave tomorrow at 5AM). She said if I step a foot in his van, then they’ll have big trouble. My dad told her that he has to take me to the station because it’s a long walk to the station, and I’ve mentioned that I have anaemia symptoms and have been feeling weak lately.

Anyways, I’ve decided that i’m gonna low contact after this, unless they apologise, it’s always me who has to apologise after arguments like this, but im 19 now. I need to stop being such a pushover to my parents, as much as I love them. And tbh her banning me from the house is fine by me. The fact that she is trying to sabotage my exit is nasty asf but I have a backup plan for the ride just in case, my brother offered to drive me to the station if my dad changes his mind.

The only good thing about today was a heart to heart with my older brother. We cried and hugged. I haven't seen him cry in years and it just made me cry more because I love him so much. At least I have that. I am currently locked in my room just trying to wait out the night. I do not know why she is so obsessed with controlling my preferences or why she is acting like this over me saying I would rather have girls. I am just done.

This all happened because I said that I’d rather have daughters..

I live in an African household and my parents have mildly sexist views of what a man and woman should be. We were actually having a good family night until the conversation shifted to the future and I mentioned that if I were to have children I would prefer to have girls. My mum immediately went on the defensive and it was obvious she secretly wanted me to say I would rather have boys. She’s so male centered its crazy. She then spent the whole time trying to force me to retract my statement. When I didn’t she started spouting these pickme talking points saying feminism is just women wanting to be higher than men. I say it’s not, she doubles down and says it is. I get pissed.

She started getting aggressive claiming that domestic abuse is 50/50 that women beat up men just as much as men beat up women and that social media is corrupting my mind. I tried to end the conversation by agreeing to disagree MULTIPLE times but she would not let it go. She kept pushing and eventually she just started yelling. When my dad got involved they were both screaming at me. He even started calling me the f slur (i’m straight) claiming I was following f words online and some more dumb shit.

And to be honest, after they kept pushing and calling me names I eventually snapped and started yelling back. It only made it worse. I had to storm upstairs to get away from them because of a massive stress headache. My dad had the nerve to call me a white girl for storming off like in an African household I am just supposed to stand there and take the abuse to be respectful. Insanity.

To make matters worse I heard him ranting downstairs saying that I called him an abuser and that I claimed he hits women which is NOT what I said at all. I literally just said that domestic abuse is most likely to be committed by a male. My dad is usually so chill he never gets angry like this so it is bizarre to hear him twisting my words like that.

Meanwhile I am stuck up here in my room and I can hear my mum downstairs loudly talking to my older and younger brothers calling me misbehaved, mean and horrible. She is basically using me as a bad example for them. She is screaming that she does not want to see my face in her house again telling me to go f*** myself and saying she does not give a shit about me. This is literally quoted.

To top it all off she is now trying to manipulate my dad into refusing to drive me to the train station tomorrow morning. (I’m meant to leave tomorrow at 5AM). She said if I step a foot in his van, then they’ll have big trouble. My dad told her that he has to take me to the station because it’s a long walk to the station, and I’ve mentioned that I have anaemia symptoms and have been feeling weak lately.

Anyways, I’ve decided that i’m gonna low contact after this, unless they apologise, it’s always me who has to apologise after arguments like this, but im 19 now. I need to stop being such a pushover to my parents, as much as I love them. And tbh her banning me from the house is fine by me. The fact that she is trying to sabotage my exit is nasty asf but I have a backup plan for the ride just in case, my brother offered to drive me to the station if my dad changes his mind.

The only good thing about today was a heart to heart with my older brother. We cried and hugged. I haven't seen him cry in years and it just made me cry more because I love him so much. At least I have that. I am currently locked in my room just trying to wait out the night. I do not know why she is so obsessed with controlling my preferences or why she is acting like this over me saying I would rather have girls. I am just done.

This all happened because I said that I’d rather have daughters..