u/Ok-Employ5438

I need a hand I feel so sinful context after this Ramadan I approached Allah in a serious way but I still find it too difficult for certain things like listening to music that I like too much and I understand not listening to music that talks about haram but also music that talks about love peace and difficulty is not allowed even if some allow it others no the fact that I couldn't wear earrings because it was tashabbahu bi'l-nisa despite the fact that I put them because I liked them and not to look like anyone and some say that I can put them on because in the West it is unisex it is not only for women (I agree with the fact that they are unisex) in addition there is the fact that I can't even hug a friend despite my niyya is good and I feel a fraternal affection towards my friends and I don't feel attraction towards my friends in addition I can't watch anime TV series like rick and morty invincible naruto Because they always have that something wrong which I find limiting so as not to add sins such as masturbation and smoking from which I stay away because they are harmful and I recognise it even if some do not say that masturbation is haram or in some cases it is allowed and in the moments when these weaknesses assault me I feel a hypocrite because if I sin I know I really regret and ask for a sincere tawba and that Allah is the most merciful so he would forgive me but this makes me feel even more hypocritical and I feel very limited and in difficulty even if the prophet (saw) says that Islam is simple but I don't see it so I feel too in difficulty and overwhelmed even if I shouldn't be like that but I thank Allah for making me be more constant with my prayers that make me feel good but I still have the fear and the feeling that I will fall back into my sins and I feel very disoriented because there are too many different thoughts from many scholars and I don't know who to agree with (in fact I choose the scientists most in line with my thoughts but even this creates difficulties for me) I don't know what to do

I need a hand I feel so sinful context after this Ramadan I approached Allah in a serious way but I still find it too difficult for certain things like listening to music that I like too much and I understand not listening to music that talks about haram but also music that talks about love peace and difficulty is not allowed even if some allow it others no the fact that I couldn't wear earrings because it was tashabbahu bi'l-nisa despite the fact that I put them because I liked them and not to look like anyone and some say that I can put them on because in the West it is unisex it is not only for women (I agree with the fact that they are unisex) in addition there is the fact that I can't even hug a friend despite my niyya is good and I feel a fraternal affection towards my friends and I don't feel attraction towards my friends in addition I can't watch anime TV series like rick and morty invincible naruto Because they always have that something wrong which I find limiting so as not to add sins such as masturbation and smoking from which I stay away because they are harmful and I recognise it even if some do not say that masturbation is haram or in some cases it is allowed and in the moments when these weaknesses assault me I feel a hypocrite because if I sin I know I really regret and ask for a sincere tawba and that Allah is the most merciful so he would forgive me but this makes me feel even more hypocritical and I feel very limited and in difficulty even if the prophet (saw) says that Islam is simple but I don't see it so I feel too in difficulty and overwhelmed even if I shouldn't be like that but I thank Allah for making me be more constant with my prayers that make me feel good but I still have the fear and the feeling that I will fall back into my sins and I feel very disoriented because there are too many different thoughts from many scholars and I don't know who to agree with (in fact I choose the scientists most in line with my thoughts but even this creates difficulties for me) I don't know what to do

I need a hand I feel so sinful context after this Ramadan I approached Allah in a serious way but I still find it too difficult for certain things like listening to music that I like too much and I understand not listening to music that talks about haram but also music that talks about love peace and difficulty is not allowed even if some allow it others no the fact that I couldn't wear earrings because it was tashabbahu bi'l-nisa despite the fact that I put them because I liked them and not to look like anyone and some say that I can put them on because in the West it is unisex it is not only for women (I agree with the fact that they are unisex) in addition there is the fact that I can't even hug a friend despite my niyya is good and I feel a fraternal affection towards my friends and I don't feel attraction towards my friends in addition I can't watch anime TV series like rick and morty invincible naruto Because they always have that something wrong which I find limiting so as not to add sins such as masturbation and smoking from which I stay away because they are harmful and I recognise it even if some do not say that masturbation is haram or in some cases it is allowed and in the moments when these weaknesses assault me I feel a hypocrite because if I sin I know I really regret and ask for a sincere tawba and that Allah is the most merciful so he would forgive me but this makes me feel even more hypocritical and I feel very limited and in difficulty even if the prophet (saw) says that Islam is simple but I don't see it so I feel too in difficulty and overwhelmed even if I shouldn't be like that but I thank Allah for making me be more constant with my prayers that make me feel good but I still have the fear and the feeling that I will fall back into my sins and I feel very disoriented because there are too many different thoughts from many scholars and I don't know who to agree with (in fact I choose the scientists most in line with my thoughts but even this creates difficulties for me) I don't know what to do