u/ObamaSpaceLizard

Everyone loves milfs but just think about this… they’ve done more poops in their life than you have. If you date a 50 year old milf, she’s probably done like twice or triple amount of poops, now this might not be a deal breaker for you and that’s okay, I’m not tryna take them milfs away from you, I’m just saying they have a lot more experience in pooping than you do, what you do with that information is up to you.

I trust that you Alphas out there already know this, so this message is for betas only - those of whom lack common sense… so listen up, kiddo

As you may know, in the shower - us men might have to make slight adjustments.. down below..

…

I’m talking about minor “manoeuvres” that require us to do a certain motion in order to clean properly.. but don’t worry, the word ‘man’ is in manoeuvre…

…

If you haven’t guessed what I’m talking about right now, I’m talking about how we have to quite literally spread our cheeks in the shower…but it’s okay, cleanliness is next to godliness, and God is an alpha, try not to think too much about it. And if a female dare ever ask you how we clean ourselves down below, you singe a cigar on your tongue to divert before you reveal the top secret, ANYTHING to avoid mentioning that we have to spread our cheeks like little bitches…

Any questions?.. GOOD! Now don’t make this weird.