u/Numerous_Mind2605

in any academic sweat’s life, there will come an inevitable point where you will want to go to an ivy league or t20 school. with this so-called “ivy dream,” so many people are too keen on sacrificing their social life and mental health just to get into these “elite” schools. in fact, i have seen so many people pay $10-100k just to build the most cohesive profile for their applications, it’s quite insane.

when i opened commonapp in august i was—simply put—a kid with a dream. having experienced anxiety and depression and survived a few suicide attempts throughout high school, i thought that getting into an ivy league school would somehow redeem me and make all my suffering “good suffering.” also being gay in my religious immigrant community, i felt like i would represent an ideal if i went to an ivy and i would be remembered as being the “good” type of different, not the “other” type of different. this was 1000% the wrong mindset for me to have; had i adopted a different worldview, God knows my mental health would have been so much better. (okay that got dark quickly, but i think this context is necessary)

neither of my parents went to university in the united states and i was navigating this process alone. as the oldest child in the household, i was the guinea pig before my little brother (and my younger cousins and family friends) would navigate this fateful process in the years to come. i’ve dedicated many weekends to getting my sat in the 1500s, studying for the ap classes to push my gpa into the upper 4’s, experiencing chatgpt-induced psychosis because of the crippling anxiety of where i end up, and stalking old videos from tineocollegeprep and ivyleagueroadmap (love y’all *ugh*, the sound is included in the message) so i knew how to perfectly tailor my profile.

given my stats/ec’s, i would say i had a relatively successful application cycle. i didn’t get into either of my two dream schools (yale and stanford) as expected, but i was able to get into a couple ivy league schools and other great schools like johns hopkins and duke. but when i got my decisions, balloons didn’t instantly fall from the ceiling, i didn’t have a post-ivy day glow-up (the acne on my face is still here, sadly), i still have a pretty poor relationship with my parents and my own crosses to bear. so after those 4 years of working hard and finally fulfilling my goal of getting into an ivy league school, what happens next?

i knew that this process was going to end one of two ways—either i go to a top school or i go to my state school—but i did not know what i was going to do afterwards. in truth, i didn’t really know how to process college admissions being over or the fact that had finally achieved my life’s mission to get into an ivy league school (quite a pathetic life goal if you ask me, but i’ve matured a lot over these past few weeks). it felt weird how everything was the same.

i can go on-and-on about how i wanted to feel grateful for getting into multiple great schools but being disappointed in myself that i was not able to crack hyps. do i still feel a tinge of envy when i see my future classmates repost their friends committing to yale and harvard and stanford? (yes. yes i do.) if you’re also a senior like me and you are happy, sad, frustrated, surprised, etc, know that whatever you are feeling is valid! this has been such a draining process that has taken our weekends, well-being, and frankly, our will to live, and whichever way you choose to process your experiences (as long as you aren’t actively hurting others) is completely valid. you are entitled to your own emotions.

to my juniors and underclassman lurkers, many people treat college as their final goal. in reality, college is a place you come from, not just a place that you go to. don’t aim for specific results because you will likely get heartbroken, rather aim to be as authentic and introspective as possible throughout this process. If you are already motivated and ambitious enough to dream big for these schools and you have done the work to maintain good grades, test scores, and extracurriculars, you CAN be successful in whichever school you end up at (ivy league, community college, state school, you name it!)

p.s. do not ask me for my stats or my ec’s, i truly believe that comparison is the thief of joy. just know that i didn’t have a perfect 4.0 unweighted, i didn’t have a 1550+/35+, i didn’t have straight-5’s on my ap exam scores (i even submitted a 3 😨), and i am neither the FG nor the LI. i am just a normal kid who is creative, stubbornly ambitious, and somehow quite good at networking?? anyways congrats to the c/o 2026 (or 2030 now ig?) and good luck c/o 2027!!

EDIT!! I’m super grateful to have gotten into the schools I did, I just wish I didn’t hyperfocus on getting into an Ivy and making my life‘s mission to get into one!! TL;DR don’t make the ivy the end goal!! ❤️❤️❤️

waitlist movement