I'm 11 weeks now. HG started at week 7. I'm on a zofran/ phenergan regimen but despite taking it - it only prevents the actual act of vomiting. I still feel intensely nauseous all day from the moment I wake until the moment I sleep. It's really taking a toll on my mental health. I'm terrified this may last until the end of pregnancy... I get like one day every two weeks where I can function for a few hours but that is it... I feel like no one I talk to understands even when I'm telling them I've never felt this bad in my life. During any bug illness flu covid etc...I feel like people think I'm being dramatic... I'm stuck in the bed all day - can't really do any chores. It's really really rough.. I'm still dry heaving all day long, and feeling so so so terrible. I have no idea what to do and I'm losing hope.
u/Numerous-Energy1111
TW: NSFW vent about details of manipulation/ punishment when saying "no"
This isn't a super regular occurrence with my male partner with BPD but it is certainly distressing when it happens. Occasionally my male partner with BPD will get extremely upset with me using silent treatment, guilt, and aggressive behavior like slamming things around to punish me when I am not in the mood to do the deed and say no. It's happened before in the past - resolved for a while but is happening again. Tonight he started touching himself in bed, I expressed that I wasn't in the mood and didn't want to watch him do that. He continued to do it until I said again that I am UNCOMFORTABLE. I asked him to do it in another room and he got very upset, rolled over in bed, wouldn't talk to me at all. I expressed that it felt manipulative for him to do that and I walked away to take a shower alone. I did ask him if he needed the bathroom and he said no. Maybe 1 minute into my shower up to 5 minutes I heard a ton of slamming and banging in the living room so I'm obviously I didn't want to come out yet until he calmed down. He them started knocking on the door to use the restroom. I wrapped up in a towel, left so he could pee and then came back to continue my shower. He made sure to slam the bathroom door closed when I went back in to continue my shower. 😮💨 It's very difficult to feel like I'm not allowed to say no to sexual advances. I thrive off of boundaries and consent in any situation and do best when all parties are expressing how they feel. There have been many many times I have come on to him, he says he's not in the mood and I immediately drop it and shift to doing something else unrelated. I never get upset if he doesn't want to do it. I know there will be plenty of other times he will want to when I want to. I'm not sure if it's a sense of rejection type of thing or what. I try to be really really understanding of his aggressive and manipulative behaviors because I know it's the disorder, but sometimes it's hard. I have mental health issues as well. Anxiety depression and PTSD. I have been in therapy. I can see logically that it's not personal and most likely because he refuses therapy to help and feels an intense sense of rejection, but sometimes it's hard to not feel hurt when he does this type of stuff.