12am rant
May minahal ako na isang lalaki dati, pero hindi sapat ang pagmamahal niya sa akin, and it is worse than the bare minimum. Minahal lang niya ako kase gusto niya ng kasama, pero halatang walang interest sa akin.
Pinakamalaking pagkakamali ko ang makipagrelasyon sa isang avoidant talaga. Looking back at it, I don’t regret pouring all my love into him. Handa ako, pero siya hindi. pero ang unfair kase yung ginawa niya ngayon is projecting and making me the villain in his story to all his friends, pero wala akong magawa since alam ko naman yung totoo and ego na talaga niya yung nasaktan.
Ang gusto ko lang naman ay mahalin ako, I just want to be seen. Is it really hard to meet people who truly see me for who I am? Or am I not really that hard to understand lang? talagang rarely met by someone patient enough to look beyond the surface ganun.
Anyway, what feels like neglect isn’t my lack of meaning, but the absence of his willingness to sit with it long enough to see it unfold, but he didn't. he chose to be blind about it. I am glad he did kase I wouldn't settle with someone like that for the rest of my liiiiife.
I will delete this soon when I feel the awkwardness crawling out of my skin reading this. Thank you for listening to my rant.