i've never been in a relationship it was a very spur of the moment drunken mistake, and now i feel like i'm never going to be able to get into a relationship without worrying about the sexual aspect of the relationship, as my last experience wasn't great.
after struggling with mental health and completely restarting at square one im finally onto a track that im really happy about, and im really excited for what the future holds! looking forward to september!!
my day started better then most, i felt the happiest i had felt in a long time, i texted all my friends to tell them how much i appreciate them, i danced to twist and shout while my dog gave me looks that said "humans 🙄".
12 hours later im in a slump. why am i even attempting this, why am i trying to reach my goals, once i get there ill just give up. why bother. there's no point. i have 0 long term follow through, why try now. and as the cycle goes, in an hour i'll tell myself to shut up, i'll repress all my emotions, because if i don't, ill break.
a lot of the time my adhd amplifies my struggles with getting out of these slumps. i've dealt with this for years, im used to it.
i'm used to it, but im tired of it. every time i feel myself getting one step closer to the edge. i just want it to stop. i don't know what to do. i've been in therapy and talking it out helped a bit, i just want it to end. i dont know who to talk to, i cant tell family or friends, they'd just think im crazy or call me lazy.
so, here i am. please help.
over the past couple of years, i've started to realize that a lot of the emotional distress i've had since i was a kid stemmed from attachment issues with my siblings. i was so attached to them that the day after seeing them i would become depressed, unable to think of anything except them or do anything productive at all.
now that im older, ive been able to separate my emotions from them, but the way ive been able to do this is by repressing my emotions. if im not around my siblings and i start thinking about them i instantly start to spiral, so i have to quickly switch my focus to something. i know thats unhealthy, but i dont see any other way to get around it.
recently i made some new friends but a few months later lost them, some things happened and they stopped talking to me. one of those people i hung out with almost everyday for those months, and it was a new environment that we were in, not knowing anyone, so they were especially important to me. they ended that friendship over text, so i also didn't get the closure that i needed. it was abrupt, i didn't expect it.
I absolutely spiraled. for over two weeks i didn't leave my room. i didn't take care of my self, i completely shutdown. i didn't care about anything. i cried for two weeks straight, my life felt like it was crumbling around me. i attacked myself, i felt like i was completely to blame, and that i was the worst person ever.
that's when i realized that those attachment issues that had spawned when i was a kid were still there, i hadn't fixed anything.
i don't know what to do. i want to know how i can stop myself from getting this attached to people, because when that friend had sent that text ending the friendship, one of the points was that i didn't respect boundaries, and i think there is definitely some truth to that. i think sometimes i stick too close, i don't let people breathe, i get needy.
i think that i know myself quite well, i know my flaws, i just don't know how to fix them.
If you got to the bottom, i just want to give you a massive thank you, after years it feels amazing to get this off my chest, even if it's to a bunch of strangers.
hey! i'm going to be coming to frost in september and i don't know anyone, i figured most people are in the same boat, so i was thinking of starting a group chat on instagram to get to know people before school starts! dm me or comment if you want to join :)
hey all! i just applied for residence at frost residence and it says it's full, but i can pay $100 non refundable and be put on a waitlist. i was wondering if anyone knows how likely it would be for a spot to open up, or if i would be better off just looking for off campus housing? thanks!