u/No_Operation_7814

It started becoming obvious to me that my ex-husband has been keeping my children away from me by gaslighting me, and arguing with me and basically coming up with any excuse he can so that I do not see my children.

I have my suspicion that his current wife has no real clue of how our relationship was and his part in it. I’m about absolutely sure that I am the bad guy here and she has probably come up with conclusions that are based on false realities.

So after I have tried my best to work with him and be nice by writing him a letter asking for compliance and him still refusing I’m going to file for contempt one way or the other and I would like to represent myself. I have heard a lot of people talk about it on here and I would love any advice no matter how big or small. I have a feeling that I’m on a timeline of some sort and I think that time is closing and I think he thinks if he could just keep this up a little bit longer it will work out so this needs to happen ASAP..

I would be more than thankful if you can tell me anything I needed to know . What you learned.. what are my first steps? What is absolutely necessary. Anything you’ve got so that I can prepare myself and do this as quickly and as efficiently as possible but the main thing is I wanna send a message by filing for contempt. Maybe that will get her to ask questions about what the reality is. Regardless my position is that she, no matter what she wants to think is not the mother and didn’t carry them in her belly for the nine months I have. And honestly, to do this to a mother who wants to see your children is absolutely evil.

Thank you in advance for all those who answer and I appreciate your wisdom .

What I really need is a consultation and the first Lawyer I got a hold of they were supposed to call me in the morning for the non-partial person to talk to me about the law firm and hear my situation but when that day came, they didn’t call . it took me a couple days to get a hold of him and then finally the guy who initially took the phone call that he would do the intake instead and then basically he already knew the situation and just started telling me how much the retainer would be. It was more than I had at the moment so I said we would talk later on and then I just decided not to go with them because I had a sour taste in my mouth. If the first meeting didn’t go well I didn’t know how the rest would go. Then I found another one that I felt that was really good. It sounded good and the lady I talked to said they did consultations for $180 and I was gonna do it but I decided to look on BBB and they got terrible reviews and I didn’t wanna regret that decision later so I just decided not to go with them either. But I’m really looking for someone who will at least talk to me so I can find out what direction I need to go and if they’re the direction then I will take it but I need to know that first. I have an ex husband who’s keeping my children away from me who are special needs on top of it and this is out of the blue. He’s agreed to me seeing them and then when the time comes, he’ll find some reason not too, and he keeps on kicking the can down the road and I think I have a understanding of why. But in my opinion, he’s in contempt because he’s not following the parenting plan as far as seeing my kids because my kids are special-needs and I live away from the area. the parenting plan is very vague, but I have no strikes against me not to see my children and he in the parenting plan does say I can see them. You know within reason and stuff like that and I feel like that all of this is malicious because he’s been pushing me off since August and here we are in April . Because I have special needs children the situation is quite sticky and different than most and from my reading I found that writing him a letter requesting to see my children. It was a good first step which I did and now he’s still pushing and kicking the can down the road. I think the reason being as he wants his sister to have full custody, if he were to pass away, but that’s something I don’t want to happen because I don’t want this to happen again. Don’t keep me away from my children, but I’ve always been reasonable because he has them full-time because he has a village and I am a one man boat. I know that my kids would have a better life with his family around because of the help he has that I don’t, and because of it, I gave him everything the house, the car, the boat, the dog. I could go on and on, but I was a stay at home mother for nine years and I was a good mother. I did a lot of advocacy and all these things that would show that I was a very participant, but he was abusive physically and mentally and I had to go away I had to get out of there and the town he lives in is very small and I would’ve been crucified in every place I went down to the grocery store. Seven years of seeing the kids when I can just fine and now all of a sudden because they are almost 18 and his his wishes for what happens if he dies he’s trying and I believe to make me look like I’m a bad mother I don’t care about my kids which is furthest from the truth. I’m now ready and thinking about filing contempt and I just don’t know if that is the right move because my parenting plan says that mediation should happen if we don’t agree, but there isn’t really a disagreement other than the fact that he’s refusing to let me see my kids for reasons I can’t And he can’t tell. He switches his story from one way to the other and challenge my sanity. It came as a big shock because in August we had a good talk. I hadn’t seen my kids in a year because I had medical problems. I had to have emergency surgery and I had recovery time and then after that, I had another situation where I had to see physical therapist and that took eight weeks just to get into and then as soon as that was over and I was better I wanted to see my kids because they have special needs they are and they are very big children I can’t handle them when I need to recover. It could cause me injury, but fully recovered. It’s fine and I have help from my boyfriend. When we talked in August, I thought it was a very good conversation and he made it seem like it was but then he just has been awful since then, and I realize that he is trying to keep the kids away from me and every turn I take, he will stop it from happening. He’s married to a woman who is a speech pathologist and I am very extremely happy about that because he could’ve married a better woman who could deal with children like mine, but I have a feeling that she has no idea of the past we shared and that was he was a drug addict, addicted crack, cocaine for the 15 years we were together and I don’t think she knows any of it. I’m pretty sure I’ve been throwing underneath the bus and he looks like the savior and I’m pretty sure she’s probably in his ear, thinking the worst of me thinking that I don’t see my children. He probably told her I canceled instead of him canceling on me. I can’t be sure but I wouldn’t be surprised. Because I’ve taken several steps and it’s been six months, including writing a letter and I have text messages to prove that he’s not letting me see my kids. I think I should file for contempt, but again my parenting plan says that if we can’t agree, we should do mediation, but I think maybe this could be a contempt situation. I just really don’t know and I need some guidance. I’m sure there’s much I’ve left out that could change the story, and I’m aware it’s probably a bit all over the place because I understand what I’m saying but I know this is all new to you so I apologize if it’s scattered but I feel like I’m giving you an accurate representation of the major parts of this so hopefully someone can guide me in the right direction.