my (26M) bf who chased me for 2 years ghosted me (24F) after moving abroad
I need some outside perspective because I feel really confused and honestly a bit stupid.
So me and this guy have been friends for around 2 years, but he has liked me for about 3 years. From the very beginning, he was very intense. Constant texts, messages, like he was genuinely obsessed with me. It used to confuse me a lot because instead of me setting boundaries or telling him to slow down, he just kept chasing harder.
But then I asked him last year and he said he wants to marry me, made a lot of promises, and slowly I started believing him. At that time, I wasn’t even fully sure about my feelings, but his consistency and effort made me trust him.
When I finally got clear about him and started taking things seriously, he told me that before moving abroad, he would talk to his family about our engagement. That meant a lot to me. But when the time actually came, we had a random fight (honestly just bad timing more than anything serious), and suddenly he said he’s leaving and that he thinks we are not a perfect match. It completely shocked me!!!!!!
I asked him to try again and not end things like that. As we invested time basically I wasted my time and suddenly he said we were exploring like?????
After a day, he agreed. I cried a lot during that time, but we fixed things and even met in person after that. Everything felt normal again.
Then he moved abroad, and within a week, he ghosted me again after a random difficult chat
Now it’s been 2 weeks.
The worst part is this isn’t even new. He has a pattern of disappearing, and 3–4 times before this, I was the one who reached out first even after he said he would. But never these many days. He always overpromised, said he would change, and then did the same thing again.
This time I decided I won’t text him first.
But I just don’t understand how someone who chased me for years, talked about marriage, and made me believe all of that, when I genuinely had trust issues can just disappear like this.
Was any of it even real? Or did I just fall for words?