u/NoIndependence2844

Final Update:

The discussions in here helped me boil down where my real issue was stemming from and think about what matters to ME. So, I called my mom up and told her I’d be honored if she wanted to wear her Whites. We clarified which skirt option she was going for (long black skirt, it almost makes it look like a gown and it’s pretty incredible) and I just told her about the white issue and how I felt kind of stuck in the middle with it all. she got it, she had actually held off entirely on ordering the uniform even, but there’s plenty of time still to have it ready and I can tell she’s really excited. Once I remembered that this is my Mom’s way of showing respect and appreciation for something, it made me realize that I was more focused on “tradition” than what I care about. Let’s face it, she’s not gonna outshine me no how no way 🤣 and her deference to let me dictate in the first place just tells you she’s a great woman anyways. We’ve had our ups and downs but I’m proud she’s my mom, and I’m pretty proud she wants to wear the nicest uniform she can possibly get just for my lil ol wedding. 🥹

Edited to Add: I asked her to wear a uniform if she wanted to when we started planning, so whether any uniform is okay or not isn’t really the debate. Just was wanting input on if it was actually that important that she not have her white waistcoat on. I’ve decided to let it go and not be so concerned about what other people might think (this was largely why I agreed with my sister about no dress whites in the first place, and when I think about it really, it’s not something I Deeply care for)

I’m starting to second guess myself and have ZERO military friends nearby anymore, so here I am. Soldiers especially please chime in 😭

My mom is a retired Army officer and really wanted to use my wedding as an excuse for her to get her Army Whites. They are often referred to as “Wedding Whites” because they are/were commonly worn for weddings. She loves collecting all the uniforms she is qualified(?) to have, so it’s not entirely out of left field, but the uniform is a stark white coat with matching white skirt and hat. I’ve seen variations with a black skirt, which she says is what she’s after, but I asked her to wear her Mess Dress for the day since it isn’t white, and it’s my favorite uniform of hers anyways (short black waistcoat, fabulous ruffled blouse, long black skirt)

She’s assured me she’ll do what I wish but is still going to get the uniform anyways, and it has me stressing. Is it obnoxious for me to not want my mom to wear white even if it’s a uniform, and even if it’s only the waistcoat after all?