I think I’m starting to have a problem with my future MIL
Complicated situation, but I’ll do my best to explain. I (22m) have been living with my (20m) boyfriend’s parents for about a year and a half. We decided to this because I lost my job last year, so I had to find another place to stay. I couldn’t stay with any friends because I didn’t have any, and my parents are 2000 miles away on the East Coast while I reside in Arizona.
I feel like this puts me in a severe power disadvantage, that I feel like my bf, and his mom exploit for their own benefit. It’s not like she’s as crazy as a lot of these people are that I see posted, it’s just that she’s so manipulative, and borderline narcissistic that I’m starting to resent her.
Her husband is mainly at work (he works 16 hour days), so that leaves us three. She does have a job but it’s part time, so we all have a lot more interaction with each other than him. I’m not currently working at the moment because I ended up getting burnt out, we live in a place where retail/food service are the only options.
I am working with a vocational coach on getting jobs, and meeting up with people, so I am making progress towards working again at a better job in the capital.
Basically all this to say that we have a lot of interaction, and I’m trying to minimize it as much as possible. The main things she does that irk me, is that she’ll interrupt any conversation I’m having with my bf, and just talk to him like I’m not here. She doesn’t look at me, and she doesn’t really interact either in general.
She basically thinks I dislike her because I’m autistic, and she’s a bit more old fashioned so she thinks it’s disrespect. Apparently this was also an issue with one of my bf’s best friend’s that had autism, and this woman would talk about her like she was the devil. I don’t dislike her, but I’m starting to because she refuses to listen no matter what and just thinks I hate her anyways. I tell her all the time that I don’t mind her, but she always treats me like an outsider based on her own insecurities.
She constantly tries to meddle in our arguments, and tries to be a “peacekeeper”, even though she ONLY takes my bf’s side.
My mom treats my bf like she’s his fourth son, I have never seen someone so insecure about someone for no reason that they start lying to other people saying I’m an a-hole or something. I would have corrected my mom so quick for her acting like that, so I’m not sure why he doesn’t do the same for me.
I’m not perfect with my social cues, but I’ve been trying to mask around her more often to make her feel better. I’m looking into some jobs with a vocational coach so that I can move to my own apartment, and control my interactions with her.
I pay rent to her, but she violates my space, goes through my things, and is EXTREMELY possessive of any space in the house that isn’t in my boyfriend’s bedroom. Like I get it, it’s her house, but I hate when I get nasty texts in the morning from her or her husband basically getting angry that I have the audacity to use the bathroom or take a shower.
It’s exhausting, and I couldn’t put everything here so I’ll try my best to clear things up in the comments. I’m looking for general advice on ways I can make my situation more bearable, currently im pet sitting at my neighbors house, and it’s so nice to not feel like I’m not burdensome.