u/Nkengaroo

Surveillance scan show the cancer is back. Doctor agrees, and says it might not be operable. He's even afraid to biopsy it.

I have to uproot my life and move back to the shitshow that is the US because the country I currently live in doesn't have the skilled personnel or the meds to deal with cholangiocarcinoma, and at least I have medicaid there and good doctors.

I have to go back to either living in the middle of nowhere in my brother's spare room, or living on my friend's couch.

I'm trying not to break down in front of my coworkers, my students.

I'm trying not to feel hopeless.

I hate this shit.

Okay, I know it's practically impossible to predict, but I'd like to get some information from those who've been there.

According to my most recent surveillance scans, my cancer is back (bile duct cancer). The first time I dealt with this (2024-2025), I was in grad school online and substitute teaching, so I could make my own schedule. This time, I'm working full-time, and my insurance is attached to my job, so I can't quit. I'm also not living in the US currently. Going back is an option, but not a great one.

If you worked during surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. how did you do it? Did you generally know what work days were easier or more difficult, and scheduled treatments around that? Or did you just suck it up and pushed through? Or did you have the freedom to go to part-time? Or maybe you were lucky enough that the treatments weren't all that bad?

I know, I know, I know, it's completely unpredictable. But my anxiety wo't let me rest until I have the outline of a plan, even if that plan changes later (which I KNOW it will).

Thank you! And FUCK CANCER!!!! I hate this shit!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I'm in a cab in my way to the airport after picking up my surveillance PET scan report. They found 2 masses. Once I get the report to my oncologist I'll see what we're doing next.

I want to vomit. I'm so upset. I was really hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones.

Fuck.