New to this type of dynamic/relationship and need advice if willing
Hello. First time poster.. I hope this is okay to bring here and I apologize if this all seems scatterbrained.
Im a 40yo straight male. I'm recently divorced, since October '25. A few months ago I met a woman who i've grown a strong connection/relationship with. She is married and they are in a poly/open relationship. We have all met and discussed things, rules and such and it went really well. Him and I are able to talk and hang out and game together and be friendly. In my marriage, while not exactly open, we were in the BDSM lifestyle and had many experiences with others being brought into the fold, so I don't believe I have any issues with the open/poly situation.
Its a bit of a Long Distance relationship - about 5.5hrs away - and we aren't able to see each other as much as we would like. She has repeatedly told me that she's fine with me doing what I have to do to get those physical needs met, as long as she is informed and I communicate everything. I have no problem with that. I actually had a FWB situation with someone until recently (She crossed a line we agreed not to cross) so I don't really have that option anymore.
But since I am so new to this dynamic - which I absolutely want - I am struggling with a couple things and would appreciate any advice that could be given:
1 - I know she's had some jealous feelings with me and the FWB. We were able to communicate and talk through those feelings quickly and honestly, and there are no lingering issues. I still find myself struggling with the idea that if I go out looking to meet someone, thinking she may have those feelings/worries, and that makes me feel bad. Is there anything I can do from my end to try and help those worries/feelings from taking over her?
2 - As a 40yo man, how should I go about looking for people that would be accepting of my situation? I have no desire for any emotional connection with anyone else at the moment, it would be purely for that physical release, which makes me feel bad again because that may not be fair to any potential partners - considering I am 40 and most women my age are beyond looking for anything "casual". I don't want to lie to any potential partners about intentions/wants but I also don't really see many women being okay with my situation, which I would honestly understand.
I apologize again if this isn't what this forum is for but I didn't really know where else to turn to for a community that may understand my issues. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.