I know erection issues are common, but every guy I've been with gets hard as a rock in a matter of seconds! What's the secret?
So this is a little vulnerable for me to share but it's been on my mind. In my 20s and 30s I had erection performance issues on and off, lots of insecurity around sex, and I avoided topping mostly because I was afraid of losing my erection. Now I'm in my early 40s and haven't drank alcohol for years, I'm in the best shape I've ever been, I sleep really well, etc - all the typical things you do to improve your sex life. I've worked on my issues from a psychological and physical side, upped my testosterone levels, cut back on porn/masturbating (I think that was a huge issue for me - reduced my sensitivity to IRL encounters), and had great results from cialis prescriptions.
I'm having way more sex in my 40s and for the most part it's amazing... but there's still now or then when I have trouble getting hard or I lose my erection during sex and can't get it back (despite cialis). I know state of mind has a big impact on our performance and it's important to not put pressure on ourselves or create more anxiety, sure. But I've been with a lot of guys in my life - I'd say at least several hundreds - and literally not one of them has ever had an erection problem with me. (I don't flatter myself that it's because I'm too hot, I wish!) I'm also always the one to take longer to get hard, usually a few minutes at least, while the other guy is always ready to go the instant we make contact.
I admit I envy guys who never have to think about this. I think I've learned enough to just have to accept that I still don't totally understand how my erections work and that's life!