Feelings even after 16 years... Please give me some advice, I'm so lost.
I was with a girl about 16 years ago (highschool). It was not a healthy relationship (not because of abuse or anything), but I was bursting with love. It was a kind of love I haven't felt since then. As I said it wasn't a healthy relationship, and I needed out, regardless of how much I loved her. I went from being with her, to my now ex wife, to my current girlfriend of 6 years. I didn't give myself time to heal after the end of either of the relationships. Anyway, I saw her in a store earlier today, and so many feelings came flooding in. I got anxious. But why? That was a lifetime ago. I quickly grabbed what I needed and left. I didn't stop to say hi, I didn't put myself in a position so that she could see me. I spent my entire drive home remembering this person that is now a total stranger to me. How electrifying her touch was, how pretty her smile was, how cute her laugh was, how kind her eyes were. Her favorite color, food, singer. Obviously I should probably see a therapist. But what do I do in the short term? I feel awful. I feel awful about myself. Obviously I'm not, but I feel unfaithful to the woman that I am with, especially when I think about how I don't feel like the love I have for her is the same or greater... 16 years. Just seeing her quickly after 16 years ripped me open and I don't get it. .
Edit to add- I'm very happy and engaged in my current relationship. I have no desire to end things here to pursue something else. That's not what I'm saying at all. The feelings are just weird to me.
As for my childhood, it wasn't as bad as some people, but it also wasn't great, and will just keep it at that.