Hey reddit i M30 dont really post much but im stuggling With LDR to the point im begining to lose hope. So sorry for the long and jumbled,grammer, spelling mistakes Mods.
The main question that im saying to myself is do i need a different aproach or should i begin to reconsider this LDR relationship.
Meet my now LDR partner online and after talking for 8 months about everything
, I decided to meet up with her and we hit it off pretty well.
During those 8 months before i meet her I found that she has a truamatic past, and she used to do substances, and highly sexual active with people in her attempt to numb her past truma.
ive been very understanding, respectful,empathetic and unbaised of her actions in the past. Not everyone is perfect and we all have our bones in our closet and she trusting me to lead her in the LDR As its her 1st time.
Now Being a LDR couple for 1 year 6 months. Ive meet up with her a couple of times and each time its great ( live in different countires )
However challenges arises when im not in her country.
There are times when she doubt of the set up of LDR. What ive done is to communicate on what she stuggling with and try to find alternatives, give space and be patient to not overwhelm her as she figures things our on a individual level before coming together to communicate how to pivot.
When she asked for clairty about what this LDR should end - ive provided reasurance, communication and set time based goals that is tangiable for both of us to clpse the distance. (Help with LRD subreddit)
i ensure that she has the space for her own individual time/space, safe to speak her thoughts/feelings ( she never experainced that due to truma).
However the past 6 months has been increadibly Difficult than normal as the past truma and difficulty with her lack of communication, and affection is really making me lose hope.
In her words. It doesnt feel like a relationship any more, its not fun, she doesnt feel engaged anymore, and what hit me the most she bored of the convesations we have.
This hits me the most as when I suggest new activities/hobbies/ dates/ events to connect, its replied with "i dont know, that cost time, its be difficult because of time zones, i know i wont like it, im not intrested and things that doesnt show intrests of trying.
And some deep conversarions that we used to talk. im not allowed as it brings up her truma and i respectful dont bring up any longer.
I love her very much and care for her deeply and in her way she does to but she finds is really hard to engage and communicate with the LDR.
This is the very 1st time im losing hope and I wanna know everyone experiance on how should i handle this.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Welcome to comments.