u/New_Relief4319

So the title sort of speaks for itself. I’m a 27(M) that’s been having difficulty being able to have meaningful conversations ie possibly ask out women. Let me just start with the fact that over the course of the year I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and have been working out about 4/5x a week. At first going into extreme calorie deficit but have gotten better since getting my weight under control and to a steady balance where I lose and gain the same 5/10lbs. My longtime ex had cheated on me and really sent me into a spiral of different emotions. I’ve gotten compliments over the year from family, friends, even people Ive just met (including women) get stares from honestly very attractive women  and even been told Im an easy person to talk to, that I have a calming energy about me and that I have soft eyes, but don’t really know what that truly means, so here’s the problem. I think I’ve narrowed it down to having social anxiety when it comes to talking to women/flirting or trying to ask them out on a date. I’ve always dealt with anxiety, but since being single my self esteem has definitely declined a lot since getting cheated on, even though I’ve come to terms with it and have even blamed myself because I understand I could’ve been a better partner and truly let myself go, being at my heaviest of about 265lbs by this time last year. The thing is I don’t have an issue talking to people I’ve jus met, like in a bar, social gathering, etc. it’s actually quite easy for me but anytime I find a girl attractive, or I like their personality and think I should maybe go up and try to strike up a conversation, I tense up and start getting in my own head about how I’m not attractive enough, they’re out of my league, or when I do try I just make the most awkward small talk possible that leads to nowhere and eventually I just shut down. How do I fix this, I know I need more confidence in myself and I can say since losing all the weight, I know I look and feel better but it still doesn’t make a difference about how I feel deep down. Even with the help of therapy. I know I’m a good looking guy but still deal with body dysmorphia, even though I’m at 170lbs I still think I’m fat or notice the fat i still have left. I was always a bigger kid growing up, got picked on a lot from friends and even family, lost a lot of weight during junior/senior year in highschool but then put it all back on after getting into a relationship and getting too comfortable. So with everything said what’s the best way to manage all this in a healthy manner and be able to talk to women more confidently/ ask them out on a date?