Hi,
I'm looking for advice from partners on how they cope with PE and not letting resentment bleed into the rest of their relationship.
My husband has had PE for the past 20 years. In the beginning and up to 2 years ago I said it didn't matter, just being together was fine. But it's chipped away at me, I feel worthless and like an aid to just get him off.
I've never had an orgasm with him. He's not good at hand stuff and I don't want to let him do oral (I do it to him but it's my last guard against disappointment I guess). We use toys but not dildos, he doesn't feel confident with them so I help but I just want to be f****d. I'm quite submissive in the bedroom and unfortunately so is he.
Alot of the time he'll come before he's in me. I know it makes him feel awful but he hasn't gone to the doctors or tried anything.
I can't keep feeling like this. I'm so sad about it and I'm getting resentful. I feel like it's affecting how I see him, even though i know he'd do anything to change it. We've spoken about it a few times but it stays the same.
I want to just stop trying altogether in the bedroom. I'd love to have a satisfying sex life but it's not in the cards. I'm just scared about what that means for us. I love him very much and I'd never leave him over this. I just need to know how to move on from it.
To spare his feelings I thought about saying I've lost my libido. I don't want to hurt him by telling him the truth.