Throwaway account for obvious reasons
Basically I dont know what to do. I (38m) and my wife (36f) have been together for 16 years and married for 14 of those and have 2 kids aged 14 and 12.
Over the last year or so I have begun to not enjoy coming home. Beginning to resent my wife if shes home. Shes always been fairly lazy, but ever since we have bought our own house a year and a half ago it has hit home how much for granted ive been taken this whole time.
I have worked full time supporting us both the entire time, through both pregnancies and now she at work herself it still feels I pick up the brunt of both sorting and organising the bills, and then cleaning and tidying our home.
To top this off, if I dont instigate anything physical nothing happens either, and very much if it does its all very vanilla.
When she goes out I enjoy not having to get annoyed that shes doing nothing at home. What has topped it off more so was my birthday this year - when we both get paid, we are left with the same amount of money to spend after bills - my birthday was the day before payday and she said she'd get me presents when we got paid. Its now 3 months later and still nothing. Ive mentioned it a few times and met with silence.
Ive organised so much - holidays, bills, days out and now its to the point where I have fallen out of love with her - I don't worry when shes out, and I dont get excited when she arrives home. I just feel stuck, unwanted and just used to provide a place to live and security.
Sorry for the long message, but with no one to vent to in my life.