So for context, we’ve been dating almost a month. My gf (21f) and I (22m) have sex 2ish times a week. The other night I opened up and told her that I have a very high sex drive and it’s off putting to hear her say she would have sex every single day for 2 years with her “toxic ex” that she dated for 5 years (they’ve been apart for 2 years when we got together). I told her I more than value just being in her presence and seeing her and listening to her and holding her etc and wouldn’t want to make her feel used or objectified, but at the same time while I don’t need it every day by any means, intimacy is something I value in a relationship and that I would be having sex with her every day if I could because she turns me on all the time.
She told me I also make her “wet” often but most of the time she’s just mentally not in that space. She said I just really have to get her in the mood. I asked what turns her on and she literally told me she expects me to read her mind. I brought it up another time and told her that it’d made me feel like “oh I’m the only one that wants this😅” when she told me she had no sex drive. I also said I’ve been so turned on around her and not just physically but mentally wanting her but just feeling like I can’t act on it.
She told me that I’m not the only one who wants it, that ofc when we are having sex she wants and enjoys it. I responded with “well yeah when we’re having sex.. what I’m saying is it crosses my mind when we’re not, not constantly but it does and it builds anticipation which has just been turning into tension when we don’t do anything for awhile”
She responded by saying she’s just not a very sexual person, but she will work on it. We still haven’t done anything since.
I basically feel like I’m struggling to try and keep myself from getting turned on while wishing I could just embrace what I’m feeling. It’s making it hard to just chill at her place because she notices something’s off while I’m just trying to control myself and it creates tension when she asks what’s wrong and I say nothing. Ig I’m just confused how we’re so early in the relationship and she just has no desire for that part of me.
Earlier in the relationship she told me that if I ever needed that kind of attention elsewhere that she would be fine with it as long as she knew. She even reassured it on a separate occasion even though I was telling her that’s not what I wanted. But now.. idk obviously I’d rather it be with her but it’s kinda driving me crazy feeling this way sometimes, should I just bring this part back up? I’m not sure she’d actually be okay with that and kind of fear bringing it up would make her upset.. idk what to do. Am I over reacting?