I don’t know what to do anymore — need advice
“Hello. In this post, I want to ask you for advice on what I should do moving forward. (Some wording may be inaccurate because I am using a translator so that this post can reach a larger number of people.)
Clarification: it is not so important to me that this situation is resolved logically, but rather that it is resolved at all. (Please do not suggest that I should explain to my father that his position is wrong, because he, as the older one, does not even want to listen to my point of view.) This situation is important to me because my future depends on its outcome. (After all, I would like to still have food, a computer, and a roof over my head.)”
“Today I had an argument with my father. It all started when he came home with groceries and suggested where we could go for a walk during the day. His options were: to walk in a park, to go for a walk in another part of the city, and to go to the forest (I really love nature and I constantly suggest going there). When he listed all these options, I asked him why he included the last one, since I have been suggesting for several months that we go there, but the trip still has not happened. (The way he said it sounded like mockery.) He got angry and said something, something like: ‘Shouldn’t have even asked.’ After that, I helped him unload the groceries, and my parents started cooking.
Fifteen minutes later, while we were eating, we were talking and the conversation reached the topic of traveling. I said that I would like to visit some African countries, and my father jokingly said about me that I wouldn’t have even a chance to survive there, because, in his opinion, ‘the law of the strongest rules there, and I have a weak physique.’ But after that, he continued escalating the situation (continuing to joke about me). When he finished, I said that it was not polite on his part and simply went to my room.
About 25 minutes later, they suggested going for a walk in the park, but I refused, referring to being in a bad mood. But my mother strongly asked me to go with them. I said that I had no desire to go with them. After that, my father came in and apologized, saying that ‘the joke wasn’t that offensive.’ I replied that there is a limit to everything, and that right now I am not ready to forgive him and go with them. After that he left, but returned five minutes later and took my phone away, saying that all of this was because I am so closed off, and he yelled at me to get ready to go to the park. He also pushed me in order to, as he said, ‘speed me up.’
After that, we started arguing, and it got to the point where he raised his hand against me, and then went to get a belt (in post-Soviet countries, for some reason, it is used to beat children). But in time my mother blocked his way and said that she didn’t want it to go that far. And when my father stepped away and changed his mind about beating me, my mother turned to me and said: ‘Look what you’ve done.’
After that, they went to the park, and I stayed in the apartment. About 15 minutes later I went down to the park and found them. We had a long conversation. I will not write everything we said to each other, but I will briefly explain. He talked about how I don’t respect him, referring to my words about the trip to the forest — supposedly I had an aggressive tone (which in reality I did not). And when I came to him in the park, I said that if this continues, I will file a police report against him, and I said that our relationship does not look like the relationship between a son and a father, and in general, if they really are like this, can we even be called father and son.
I tried to explain to him that his violence will lead to nothing, but he said that it is part of upbringing. At the end of the conversation he said that he will not provide for me in any way, and I said that I renounce the fact that I am his son. I already regret that I did all this, because before I went to the park it could have been smoothed over. Now not only did I prove nothing to anyone, I simply made my economic situation worse. What would you advise me to do?”