jealous of my girlfriends social life and it's ripping me apart
As the title said, I am jealous of my girlfriends social life.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now. Recently, she has started a new degree and also reconciled with some friends from middle school. ever since, she meets them regularly (every few days).
I am happy for her, I am. However, after a while I started to notice that I've started to feel some jealousy towards her.
I myself have no friends aside from her. I have one online friend that I talk to once every few weeks and that's it. I've always had a hard time finding friends.
Therefore, I don't go out.
Recently I've been finding myself just waiting for her, doing nothing. I just wait for her to come home to finally spend time with me. During that time that I wait I just feel so incredibly miserable and disgusted by my own feelings. She is definitely happier than before and I want to be genuinely happy for her too, but why am I so jealous? I just want to have friends too, I want to have fun too, I want to have my insiders with people, make some memories, take pictures, etc. Instead, I'm spending my time waiting for someone like a dog. And I even hate that I think of myself this way.
I hate myself for being so jealous. I want to cheer her on, not be jealous of her.
She has so many people around her, but I have only her. And if she's not there, I have no one.
I honestly dont know what to do.