My father has been a heavy smoker for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a kid, I begged him to quit. I cried about it, asked him to stop, told him I was scared something would happen to him. Most of the time he either got angry at me or told me to stop bothering him.
Growing up, he also never really spent time with me. He wasn’t the kind of dad who wanted a relationship. It always felt like he only came to me when he needed something.
Now we’re all adults. I have two siblings, but somehow I’m the one he always asks for help. Especially now that he has lung problems. The doctor told him to stop smoking, and suddenly he quit. That honestly hurt me more than I expected, because years of me begging, crying, and worrying meant nothing, but one doctor warning did.
Now he constantly asks me to explain what the doctor said, read his paperwork, translate medical stuff, reassure him, and calm him down because he’s scared and insecure. He rarely asks my siblings. It feels like I’m expected to handle everything because I’m the “capable” one.
When I say no or show frustration, I get treated like I’m selfish or an asshole for not helping my sick father.
I know he’s scared, and I know health issues are serious. But I’m also carrying years of resentment from being ignored, dismissed, and only being useful when he needs something.
So AITA for getting angry and not wanting to be the person he leans on now?