u/New_Building_1357

I’ve recently felt safe enough to finally talk about this with my therapist so I thought I would share to maybe help others feel not alone and to not feel alone myself. I’ve been sexually assaulted two times. The first time it was with someone that I didn’t know very well we were just getting to know each other and we were at his house and he pressured me to just let him put it in and then he just kept going and I remember I went home and I knew that something was wrong so I’ve blocked him, but it still was weird because it wasn’t violent, but it still made me feel violated. The one that really stuck with me was my ex he would condition me to not be able to say no he would punish me if I said no he told me he didn’t like the word. No, he would turn around and pout. He was also super tall and super strong and I just felt super weak so I just felt like I couldn’t say no he would always tell me that he is so scared. He’s gonna hurt me because he’s so strong and I’m so weak. He would sodomize me without lube or anything or anything because he said he hated Lube and it hurt and he was just putting it in without asking me. He was just do it randomly we would just be cuddling and he would just start and put it in and I would just lay there, hoping for it to be over waiting for it to be over and I feel a lot of shame because it wasn’t violent and I didn’t say no, but I’m starting to accept that. I am a survivor and my story is valid and that anything but an enthusiastic yess is a no.Thank you for reading/