I'm not sure what I expected when I finally got assessed. Relief, maybe. What I didn't expect was grief.
Grief for the version of me who white-knuckled her way through a 25-year corporate career, masking every single day without knowing that's what she was doing. Grief for the woman who thought she was broken when she was actually just undiagnosed.
I left corporate in 2017, not gracefully and started over completely. The diagnosis came way after. And suddenly so much made sense. The burnout that wasn't really burnout. The hyperfocus that looked like dedication. The way I could sell anything to anyone and then go home and not be able to fold laundry.
I'm curious for those of you diagnosed in midlife, did it feel like both relief and loss at the same time? How long did it take to actually integrate?
Just wondering if anyone else is living in that in-between space.