Am I holding on too hard, or should I keep waiting for him?
me and my crush have been talking for almost 4 months now, and honestly, i don’t really see much progress anymore.
we’re both M17. i met him on facebook because i thought his feed was cool, so i randomly messaged him and told him he looked really good. he replied saying he’d follow me on insta because he thought i seemed cool too. at first, i was always the one chatting first, replying to his ig notes, complimenting his stories, sending reels, stuff like that. he would reply naman, and eventually i started ranting to him too because one time i joked about something kinda serious and he told me he’d listen. and he actually did.
after around 2 months of sending reels (some lowkey flirty too), he suddenly replied to one and said he’d rather i just say what i actually want. that’s when i confessed. he replied saying maybe i don’t actually like him, and i said maybe, but i still wanted to get to know him better. then after another month, he asked me again if i still liked him. i asked if he liked me too, but he couldn’t really answer. he just said his mind was somewhere else, but he also said he wasn’t rejecting me and that he was okay with me continuing what i was doing. eventually he opened up to me about how he feels “unlovable” and that i’d probably leave him someday. but honestly, i was willing to wait for him. i even promised him that.
the problem is… sometimes he just never matches my energy. he rarely texts first, barely makes any first moves, and most of the time i’m the one keeping the connection alive. sometimes it even feels like he selectively texts me like he chooses when to care or interact depending on his mood. meanwhile i literally can’t go a day without thinking about or chatting him. we met once irl though, and he was actually way more expressive there, so maybe he’s just more of an irl person. but even then, i still feel like he’s rarely genuinely interested in me the same way i’m interested in him.
2 weeks ago he asked me what i wanted from him, and i told him i just wanted him to be more present. he said he’d try, but nothing really changed. and now i’m honestly thinking of giving up.
i keep feeling like i’m just disturbing his peaceful life or being some annoying pushover. part of me wants to stop chatting him and just let him figure himself out before i keep pouring everything into what feels like a wall. but at the same time, i can’t do it.
how do you move on from someone you still talk to every day?
i don’t wanna block him or cut contact completely. i just want to stop making him my whole world because it’s getting unhealthy. he’s on my mind 24/7, and every time he doesn’t reply, i overthink so much.
and yeah, i know my worth. i know i deserve more than cold treatment. i know he probably doesn’t like me as much as i like him. i think i’ve known that for a while now.
i just wanna learn how to live my life again without constantly waiting for him or fearing he’ll suddenly leave. especially when deep down i already feel like he eventually will.
i don’t wanna be the one that ends up completely destroyed because i gave everything to something uncertain.
im so cooked 😭
ik this post is messy but pls give advice if u have any. u can ask questions too if u need more details. still a crush cause we dont have any labels LMFAO