It hasn’t even started yet. Tomorrow is day one of being in a long distance relationship with a time difference, and it’s already hitting me harder than I thought it would.
I love him and I really do want to support his dreams, even if that means he has to be far away from me. I know this is something worth trying. But there’s this heaviness in my chest that I can’t shake. Thinking about opposite schedules, missed calls, and all the little moments we won’t get to share at the same time makes me anxious.
I think part of it comes from something deeper. Growing up, my parents had to go abroad to support us. I understood why, but that feeling of loving people who aren’t there when you need them never really left me. And now it feels like I’m back in that same place, except this time I’m choosing it.
I don’t regret loving him. I just wish it didn’t feel this heavy even before it begins 🥲