I got out, but damnit, I'm just so sad and unused to this.
So, I got out. I left my parents with a "cloak and dagger" style minus the dagger. A good guy and his wife (they're neighbors I've known about forever but not closely) took me and the things I was able to smuggle out (five changes of clothes and undergarments, some jewelry, a coloring book and a word puzzle book, plus my stamps and envelopes and stickers, and some scant toiletries) and took me first to a police station so I could tell an investigator everything that happened to me. I aired all my parents' dirty laundry and it felt great. Egg Donor could get charged, and I was happy to hear about that. Then I was taken to the bank so I could deposit my money and then a shelter. But that's where the comfort ended.
I feel alone here, despite that there's lots of people here. I'm very used to quiet, and it is SOOO LOUD HERE, nearly all the time. I'm not used to sharing bedrooms and bathrooms with complete strangers, despite their seeming niceness. I have no car or transportation, and this thing is far from stores. I had to walk a mile to get to a place that sold shoes (mine were ill-fitting and I didn't want anything that the shelter offered). I don't have so much money on me, and I can't easily get to my bank to get more. I need a new phone, but getting to the nearest Walmart is going to be a hassle; I'm probably going to have to walk a six mile back-and-forth trip. I feel profoundly alone, but it's not the kind I'm used to (being isolated by Egg Donor). I know this is an important stepping stone to a life without my parents, but right now I'm uncomfortable with it. I know it should get better from here, but right now I only really feel better when I'm outside, not the small shelter.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this before? Missing home but not who you fled from? Feeling uncomfortable with where you ended up, even if it might be temporary?