Since I have discovered movies by a certain actor, I can't stop thinking about how handsome they look. I can just stare at them and think whoa, so hot and handsome. I also wish I get a partner like them that has the same physical features because I have always preffered those traits in a partner. I'm single btw, so no, I'm not cheating. Their younger version is the type of men I always have dreamed off appereance wise.
The movies motivated me to start working on myself cuz I'm heavily obese for years, and the character they play inspires me to work on myself while other things couldn't give me the boost or confidence I needed.
I also started to bingwatch movies where they play in and as weird as it sounds, watching their movies helps me to stop craving food. I lost some weight, and I can't eat as much as before, nor I want to do that anymore, so that is good I guess? I'm worried I won't find other movies without them as enjoyable as with them, but who knows?
I want to buy merch, like I do with Disney, (figurines etc) and collect them because that is how I feel and show love for anything that I truly like or love. For example, I love watching The Lion King, so I try to get merch and put them in a display case for everyone to see at home.
Now.. I am currently watching a documentary about their life and it made me cry. I just felt bad for them with how they were struggling and it feels like I am watching someone I personally know while I actually don't know them. I don't feel the need to follow them on social media nor want to explore further about their life besides the documentary.
So I want to ask you, is this considered a normal crush or is this considered obsession? I am feeling scared of myself cuz I have never felt this way before. Sure, I have watched movies, but it could be that these are the first movies I have started to bingwatch and I never did that before. Movies have never been interested to me except for Disney one's, but now I'm loving it and want to watch so much more.
It doesn't stop me from enjoying all other things in life. I could never replace them for this crush.