u/New-Sweet-7693

I’m 26M and my girlfriend is 24F. We’ve been together for a little over 2 years and lately we’ve been arguing a lot about money, specifically my money. We don’t share finances, we haven't engaged yet, and we split things pretty evenly when we go out.

The issue is that she’s started acting like she gets final say over anything I buy for myself. A few weeks ago I upgraded my PC because gaming is one of my main hobbies and I had been saving for it for months. She got annoyed and told me it was "immature" and that I should’ve spent the money on something better. Then recently I bought tickets to go see a concert with a buddy and she got upset again.

What bothers me is that I’m not irresponsible. My bills are paid on time, I have savings, I’m not asking her for money, and I’m not going into debt buying dumb stuff. I work full time and budget my own finances. Meanwhile she spends a ton on skincare, clothes, and random Amazon purchases and I’ve literally never once told her what she can or can’t buy with her money because I feel like that’s controlling.

The argument blew up yesterday because I told her straight up that she has no right to dictate what I spend my own money on when we aren’t even sharing accounts or married. She said that’s a "selfish mindset" and that couples should judge each other’s financial decisions because it affects the future.

She’s acting like I’m some reckless manchild for wanting freedom over my own purchases. AIO?

I am planning a birthday party with about 50 people at my house soon and I want to set two firm rules. No alcohol at all and all bedroom doors will be locked. I told everybody about this ahead of time so there would be no surprises.

The reason I want these rules is because I have had bad experiences at past gatherings where things got out of hand once people started drinking. People got loud, messy, and disrespectful of my space. I ended up cleaning for hours and felt stressed in my own home. I also do not like the idea of people. especially couples, wandering into private rooms. I keep personal things in my bedrooms and I just feel more comfortable knowing those spaces are off limits.

I just want to feel relaxed and safe in my own house on my birthday. If people want to drink they can do that before they come or after they leave. I only asked for a few hours of a dry and contained gathering. Some friends said I am overthinking it and that it makes guests feel like they are not trusted. Now I am second guessing whether I am being unreasonable for wanting these boundaries in my own home. AIO?