What is it with male post-nut clarity? :(
I've had nothing but disappointing sex experiences. I'm celibate for now and honestly I think I am traumatized to the point where I think I never want to have sex again....
I had sex a few times to what I thought was the love of my life. Each time, his demeanour changed entirely after sex. I could tell he wanted to leave. He usually wouldn't leave right away, because he's not a stupid guy. He would hold me for a bit but I am highly sensitive to a fault and I can sense how he just wants to leave...but the thing is, I have high emotional needs and I always want them to stay with me as along as possible. I love cuddling and pillow talk. I could tell he didn't care much for that, or maybe me. Sometimes he's downright rude after sex...highly traumatizing.
I carried this trauma with my next sexual partner. After sex, I could never relax, and I would just get up from the bed and leave the room to give him some space. Sometimes he left the room too....i think he was grateful that I didnt require aftercare (which I really do) but i am SO scared of being rejected. It's the worst feeling in the world.
With past sexual partners, I could tell they all wanted to leave after sex but they would make some effort.
I can't enjoy sex or relax during the act anymore. My body is so traumatized by these feelings of rejection. I just want to be adored and cared for, and I am honestly angry that they think it's okay to treat me this way. I guess from their perpespctive it's "just sex" - well at least they enjoy it and get to bust a nut while I never do and gain no pleasant expereinces from the endeavour.
I want to relax and enjoy sex. But at this point my experiences have taught me that all men just hate being around me after sex. It doesn't make sense to me, I am a person. Maybe I don't get it because I have neevr experienced an orgasm so I don't know. I am so sad.