Local grandparents
Just wondering if abnormal or if it’s my in laws. I have a strained relationship with my in laws and now we have kids. They want to be very involved in our kids’ lives and my family is more about boundaries. I’m a bit overwhelmed with the frequency they want to be involved with our kids. My husband thinks it’s fine. My family doesn’t live in town and doesn’t see them as often and I feel it is unbalanced but nevertheless they are here-and everywhere. At every ballgame for both kids and sometimes practice. Then at least once a week they plan something at their house. I try to say no sometimes and have our own family time but again, my husband doesn’t agree. I feel like I have no autonomy over my time and sometimes my own children-like they have part ownership of them. Every time I turn around they seem to show up because I always have the kids with me. This is overly simplistic of the issues with them but how much is too much grandparent time? I believe parents shouldn’t be at every game for their kids (when the kids get older) to exemplify how to handle competing priorities with work and giving the kids independence etc. My FIL was at every one of my husband’s games growing up and involved in every way and now my husband believes he has to as well even though work causes a strain on that. I tell him it’s ok, I’ll be at all the games right now and he doesn’t have to be like his parents. He thinks being more present is always better and I think the grandparents being super present is unhealthy. Maybe it’s just me but I get weird vibes from the whole family and their desire to crave being together for everything. I like space and more immediate family time and I want to make mom friends and my in laws are cramping a possible friendship. I have no friends right now and struggling with d e p r e s s i o n. This makes him write off my feelings and I question myself also. In essence, how often is enough or too much for grandkids to see their grandparents and how do I handle my discomfort regarding my perceived invasive style of my in laws?