I had a falling out with a close friend around 2023. We became friends in 2018 and our friendship lasted all the way until the end of 2022 when she got an LDR boyfriend (both her and her bf are from the same state but she studies here in my hometown). Don't get me wrong, I was happy and excited for her but eventually our conversations turned stale when all she talked about was her boyfriend. Our conversations used to be about our interests: manga, video games, and books, now it became only about her relationship. At this point, my heart did break a little but my friend was happy and I didn't want to turn it into being about me.
My last emotional straw was when she finally met her bf irl. Her bf flew to our town for a few days to see her and I volunteered to drive them around (she doesn't have a car nor a license). And that was all I was: their chauffeur. They got in my car and sat at the back. Their eyes were locked on each other the whole time we were out and when I tried to talk to the both of them, it was one-sided responses, not even making eye contact with me. Her bf was polite at least and offered some gas money. But that's the real kick: her bf, a man I just met but only heard through her stories, had the decency to remember I exist. My friend? She only said a few sentences to me before I dropped both of them off at their hotel.
From then, I slowly distanced myself from her, not that it made any impact on her life because she seemed very happy with her bf and I didn't want to disrupt their peace. Before this, we would always be on discord with our other friends to play games but now she never comes in the call.
For three years, we haven't spoken a word and she never reached out and talked to me ever since. Until recently I got curious and checked her account and saw that she soft blocked me on instagram and twitter. A month ago, our mutual friend told me that she broke up with the guy as well.
Friendship grief is strange. How do you grieve someone who's still alive and well but yet you yearn and long for the times and memories you've spent together in the past?
She probably won't ever find or see this but all I want to say is I hope you're doing well, B. I miss our late night talks back in college when you would randomly want to call delivery at 1 AM. I didn't thank you enough for clearing my name when you-know-who was spreading false stories about me. I didn't thank you for being a good friend back when we were still talking. But I hope wherever you are or whatever you're doing, you're healthy and safe.